The Wedding Suit

I think the image above says it all really. My original idea was to get married in a James Bond Style swimming trunks, (white with red trim if you must know) goggles, a red bow-tie and white top hat.

Redhead Girl sort of almost started crying a little when I mentioned it, and after the initial shock of realising this was not due to her being awed by my tasteful dress-style and sense of adventure I realised this might be in danger of turning into an almost normal event. People wearing formal clothes and all!  When we discussed the event I really only had 3 requirements:

1. I didn’t want any human presiding over the ceremony saying those hated little words “By the power/s invested in me…” as this would be likely to produce the following autonomous reaction from me: “No you fool. You have no powers over me! HADOUUUUKEN! Fireball to your face!” Which I felt most of the guests would not appreciate, not being au fait with Street Fighter parlance.
2. I didn’t want a boring long-ass ceremony where people doze off.
3. I wanted the day to be memorable by virtue of being at least a little different.

For about the first three months Redhead Girl kept asking me if I wanted this or that or the other and my standard answer was pretty much: “Whatever you want is fine with me”. Even when it came to invites, although because we’re getting married in Brazil it would be difficult for my family and friends to be there, she was very considerately trying to ask me if it was ok to have X and Y and Z and so on. To which I again just said, yeah, sure, whatever, the more the merrier. Eventually one day she had a little episode and I realised she was sad about this. She thought I didn’t care you see.

So I explained that this wasn’t it at all. The way I see it, the important part of a wedding is just between me and her and has nothing to do with anyone else. The whole thing about friends and family and the ceremony, priests, witch-doctors and ostentatious building is all just not relevant to us. Which she felt the same about. But she was worried about everyone getting along so that it would be a good day. I explained that from my point of view, even if they all got drunk and started brawling, it would be a great day. Because we have managed to ensure no humans are presiding over the ceremony but us, the rest is just all human stuff. And as our relatives and friends are people, whatever human-like behaviour they do…well…so what…we love them flawed and great as they are after all.

After this explanation Redhead Girl was a lot more relaxed I think. She has her dress all picked out and I have a rough idea of what it looks like but not fully because she will not let me see it before the day. It’s a very classy thing.

My costume idea was not going to work. When she realised I really was serious she kind of did a double take. I mean hell. It’s like she thought I was crazy or something.

I could see if she had like a whole dress on…I would probably need some clothes. But the idea of getting married in a penguin suit disturbs me. But after a day or so I had it! Jin, from the Video game Tekken was the inspiration.

You can see it right?

It’s a great idea. Classic yet subdued. A subtle blend of style and superhero chic. I thought of just going for the trousers and a bare-chest, but she says her dad has a heart condition… I suggested he could wear a cape, but somehow that didn’t wash either.

Finally I told her about the suit you see above dear readers.

She laughed. Happily you see. Great, I thought.

Except she carried on laughing long and hard. It seems she thinks I was joking again. I am not I tell you. I am dead serious.

Admittedly at this stage I had just described Jin’s trouser leg with the flame thing…not the toned down version above I have in mind…but she carried on laughing. Possibly with a slight hint of hysteria.

So I spent a few hours with a picture of Elvis and Gimp (Linux version of Photoshop) and created the image above. I will show her in a few minutes. I am sure she will like it…surely…right? Although this image keeps flashing in my head…

But all is not lost readers. Even if she should have a tragic collapse of good taste and not LOVE the idea of the white Jin-like suit. I know how I can change her mind. By offering her her own version of the Tekken wedding dress of course. The one that apparently is in a secret or extra scene for Lili Rochefort (also a Tekken character, and no, I don’t know what scene, it’s not like I have played the game in 15 years or more…). Yes. That’s right, I am sure this will do it. You can see for yourselves. nothing could go wrong with this plan!

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