Orion has a very successful YouTube channel, and I assume decent practice too. His videos are very popular and in general his advice is good to excellent from a secular perspective. This video interview he did recently was particularly revealing of his own way of seeing things, which in any case he generally tends to espouse in his advice on videos related to relationships and dating and so on.
It’s worth watching the interview for various reasons and points he makes, at about the 22 minute mark, he refers to Dan Bilzarian saying that after he has spent a decade having sex with who knows how many women, now he’s looking for just one person to devote himself to, while a bored housewife might be seeking a thrill and that is why she may end up stepping out of the marriage (cheat, divorce, get into swinging, etc).
Earlier he also made the statement that the only valid reason he sees for a marriage today is if you want to have children and are both committed to that. I find his views and general advice interesting because, given my history of basically doing pretty much what I wanted and with a rather large number of women, before I had my road to Damascus change, while I was still in my secular ways, I could definitely relate to this.
Another important point he makes is that there are many ways people can get stuck (or lost) in various aspects of the modern (secular) lifestyle we seem to all be mired in. He makes a point I was aware of even before I started to have sex with lots of different women, and it is a very important point: Some men get totally lost in the lust of the chase, of new conquests, and so on, to the point where their primary aim just becomes to have an ever higher number of notches on their belt.
I was in my first serious relationship for 13 years and I never cheated or anything of the sort the whole time, even if I did have a number of very well-presented offers. Sexually I was “inexperienced” in terms of the number of women I had been to bed with, but one can hardly say I was sexually inexperienced, given that I had sex pretty much daily if not multiple times a day for the entire period. When that relationship ended (by mutual accord and peacefully so) I did not have any difficulty in finding other female companionship, because in a sense I was already well-accustomed with interacting with a woman on a sexual level to the point that it did not hold a lot of mystery for me, and while each woman is unique, in a sense, —and I don’t mean to be crude— so is each bicycle, but the general principle of how to ride one tends to be relatively well-understood, no matter what local variance each one might require for maximum enjoyment.
The point is that even when I was in my first serious relationship, I could look at a man and recognise whether they were the kind that is always “thirsty”, regardless of if married or not, successful or not, rich or poor.
In one instance I recall a very well-to-do doctor who was married to a beautiful and intelligent woman, who nevertheless cheated on her repeatedly with younger women in the perpetual chase of his “youth”. He was far from the only married guy who still hunted around or used prostitutes in some vain search for “manliness”, and they seemed oblivious to the fact that whether it’s one or a thousand, it’s not the number of women you slept with that makes you what I would consider a man. In fact, the two concepts are only very mildly related if at all. Having been with many different women might make a man more aware of women in general, more capable of becoming involved with them, certainly, but almost invariably this is just a veneer, a superficial level of the qualities I would define as being essential to a man. In fact, some of the effects of being promiscuous with a lot of women may well degrade some of the essentials for some men.
So, Dr. Teraban is definitely correct in that men can get lost in the lustful side of the equation. And women too can get lost in various aspects of it too, if in usually different ways.
The larger and more important point however, the aspect that Dr. Teraban misses too, and not just in terms of missing it as a perspective, because intellectually I think he is intelligent enough to probably grasp it, even allow for it in his model of reality, but it’s something he clearly does not have in his life. He is missing this point without even knowing it really exists, and it is the reality, the truth, behind actual marriage.
I can recognise with ease that he is missing it, because I too missed it, as long as I was secular. And even when I did get married, my grasp of marriage was still secular. Yes, I believed in marriage, as a kind of team of two, the best descriptor of it I saw was in the film The Thin Red Line, and is provided by the monologue that Sean Penn’s character provides at the end, which in summary is:
The world is shit, life is hard and the humans in it are pretty much all assholes, so the best you could do is find a woman that loves you and you love her, and make an island of the two of you and leave the rest of the world behind.
It is true, that even at our most secular, it is men, ultimately that are the romantic sex. Women are far more pragmatic… in the secular sense.
But even that belief, which most women seeking a husband would be ecstatic to find in a man that wanted to marry them —regardless of whether they felt the same way or not about it— is not really enough to keep the world, the corruption, the degeneracy, the inevitable corrosion of your relationship at bay. Because unless you have something real and true and far deeper than the mere physical or even emotional and intellectual transactional nature of the secular relationship to base your values on, eventually, steel will wear down steel.
As much as you can be an honourable, successful, powerful, famous, funny, good guy, and as much as she can be beautiful, classy, great in the bedroom, funny, intelligent and able to discuss any topic well with you, ultimately, if your relationship is to move beyond the “perfect flashy couple everyone loves and wishes they were in”, the world, that is the secular world, will, invariably, inevitably, inexorably, wear you down.
Her looks and energy and vitality will fade. So will yours. Your fame and fortune, even if it remains to the end of your days will, eventually lose it’s lustre, because that is the nature of the human void that is never filled enough by material things. If I were given a few millions to retire with, never having to worry about money again, and a 70 foot white trimaran, I’d sure be happy, and because of my current mindset I’d be sure to enjoy it to the end of my days, but, with a secular mindset, it would only be a matter of time before I’d get bored of even the 70 foot trimaran and sailing the oceans.
The secular life is a constant trying to stay ahead of the encroaching reality that nothing material, ultimately, really matters. A man (or woman) that arrives at age 99, as a multi-millionaire that never lacked for anything materially at all, and that had all the sex, with all the supermodels they could possibly imagine, that achieved all sorts of fame and worldly success, who reaches there with no children, no grandchildren, no one, ultimately who really cares when he shuffles off this mortal coil, is, in truth, one of the saddest souls on Earth. You might not think so, you might be on the breadline and wondering where your next meal comes from and think I am talking complete bullshit here. Certainly the harshness of the world can make you feel and think that way, but in reality, in objective truth, a man who struggled financially all his life but raised a few good sons and daughters, is wealthy beyond measure compared to the lone multi-billionaire.
Or, alternatively, take Elon Musk, who has a bunch of children with various different women and is supposedly (but not actually) the richest man on Earth. Would I want his life? Not in a million years. I think if you offered me to trade places either with Elon Musk or one of the random natives of Sentinel Island, it would be about par, and in all truth, if I chose the Elon Musk life it would only be in the (vain) hope, that if I had his money I MIGHT be able to achieve something good that MIGHT affect more people than as a random native of Sentinel Island. But in terms of personal enjoyment, I genuinely think I would probably pick the Sentinel Island life. You might not believe me, and I understand that, but I promise you, this is my most honest thought on this matter. I express it, because if you are a regular reader, regardless of your opinion of me on a personal level, you will probably agree that I am not stupid. And if I say this, there is probably some value and truth to it worth noting. At least I hope you see that.
Because Dr. Teraban is not wrong. As far as the secular life of this world at this time goes, the things he says are correct. The math “works”. But… and it is a very important but, there is a reality that supersedes the one we are all familiar with. It remains invisible to most of us, but it actually informs and creates the physical, secular reality we are all familiar with.
The origin of all you know and see and can touch and perceive, is from a realm that is invisible to the eye and body for the most part. Yet… when you do get to “see it” it cannot be unseen. And once you become conversant with it, once you begin to see the truth of it, like Neo in the Matrix, once you see the code behind what you used to think was “reality” everything takes on a completely different meaning.
And it is from this perspective that I would like to inform you about marriage.
Once you can see in the unseen realm, you notice that random hook-ups are actually a general degradation of your own anchor to and ability to perceive that very same unseen realm.
And you also see that marriage, as it was intended to be, is something completely different from what any aspect of it is presented in the secular world. And yes it is for creating children and raising them, but also so much more besides, though that remains the main purposes above all. The reality of marriage (which applies also to people who maybe are not able to have children) is something that increases your anchor and ability to see the unseen realm of the fundamentals of reality, and in that context, you really perceive why it is a sacrament. A holy thing. Something beyond our mere mortal desires and hopes.
If you have no experience of this unseen realm that is the foundation of all reality, I can’t convince you of it with words. I can’t make you see it. And you are perfectly free to think I am just some bible-thumping moron that is pedastalising his wife, or a woman that will not divorce you, or some other worldly effect that you might think I am under the spell of. But I assure you it is none of these things. I have lived where you may be. I have been where Dr. Teraban is in terms of having figured out, insofar as secularism goes, the optimal way to live with women, relationships, hooking up, and even secular “marriage”, of which I have been through two of before really becoming actually properly, truly, married.
I can’t convince Dr. Teraban either probably (should he ever become aware of this post and bother to read it) of the truth of what I am positing here. The difference between being told about this and experiencing it is too vast to even be able to make an analogy, but maybe it would be like the difference between a primitive caveman being told about the ability of flight for humans and that same primitive man being placed in a rocket that fires him into Earth orbit for a few revolutions before flying back down to Earth.
From the exterior I look the same and my marriage may seem more or less conventional (more likely less than more, but still within “normality” I suppose) but internally, I assure you, it is far from that. The internal reality of it is Galaxies distant from either of my previous two secular “marriages”.
This element, which is hard enough to even define, is clearly missing from Dr. Teraban’s life both personally as well as in his philosophy. It is enmeshed however, as best as I could do so, in my book Caveman Theory which is only available in digital format, because it probably would get me banned from Amazon otherwise.
Both men and women are in a sort of relationship crisis mode, if for different reasons, and it will not improve for either side until this concept I am trying to get across to you permeates their psyche to a degree that is a lot higher than what it currently is.
It is also important for you to understand two things concerning this:
First: Despair is NOT the way. Your constant thinking that what I am discussing here is the equivalent of flying unicorns to find, or is nonsense, or just my delusion, or real but you are not clever, rich, good-looking, or whatever, enough for it to apply to you, is only going to give you a magnetic field that repels any possibility of you living it. Your accepting this reality, regardless of your own current circumstances, is going to make it a LOT more likely that you will find such a situation naturally. When I first discovered this reality, the concept I could ever even be in a long-term relationship that mattered to me at all was just a complete fantasy and mirage. I had no belief it would even be relevant to me. But I was not in despair. I just assumed that sort of reality was way beyond my reach. Like thinking I would not be the first man to land on Mars kind of thing. It’s just how it is, but I was aware of the reality. I saw it, felt it, knew it. And gradually, that knowledge alone put me in a position where I could relate to that reality and in fact even influence others towards it, including women, without even specifically discussing it. It was just a sense of things, of how I moved, of my general approach to women, even women I got involved with, that was noticeably different and produced different results.
Secondly: If you are honest with your own number (based purely on you looks on a 1-10 for women and on looks plus a blend of success (money/status/fame) for men) and realistic about it and look within your own range, and with this understanding of the unseen realm alive in your being, there absolutely is someone out there that would fit with you. And while finding them might not happen immediately, the likelihood that it does happen, as long as you are not in desperate mode (see First above) are decent at least, possibly good, and maybe even very good or inevitable, because if you learn to navigate that unseen realm, the physics there works very differently than from the secular world you and I and everyone else is familiar with. In that realm, just being aware and having a concept alive inside you, tends to bring that thing to you. It is when you grasp for it that you lose it, generally. It sounds like woo-woo New Age “Law of Attraction” bullshit, but it is not that. It is something true but as I say, unseen. Unperceived by us today almost entirely, but that was known in the past, that people were aware of.
It is related to how prayer works. To sensing the divine. To the underlying truth of reality.
And I truly hope this post at least, gives you some sense of it. Because until you have it, you are unlikely to be able to form a marriage that truly lasts till death do you part.
