So, I am trying to see if this will work, and since it’s free fiction involving Moon Nazis (but not only) I figure readers here might enjoy subscribing since it’s, like I said, free. If there are enough subscribers, and you spread the word to others too, I will definitely make it a regular thing I update. And for those of you that have read all the OOM books, well, you should probably enjoy this too.
Mommy’s boy “president” Macron, has been doing what mommy’s boys in playgrounds where their mommy is also their teacher, have been doing forever: He’s been shooting his mouth of as if he was some big, tough, schoolyard manly, man.
The reality, of course is that the only reason no one has bitchslapped him and then flushed his head into the nearest urinal/toilet while giving him an atomic wedgie, is purely because Mommy (the USA) is looking over the playground. But the fact is that Mommy is tired, and has the principal looking over her shoulder (Israel) who has had quite enough of Emannule, or Emmy, as he is known to everyone in the playground, because mommy’s boy is a blusterful, emotional, effemminate little runt, that has only ever been seen kissing mommy, and holding hands with some of the immigrant boys that live near the school, but never an actual girl.
And at least one of the other teachers is not best pleased with Emmy. And hasn’t been for a long time, at least since 2018 when she complained about Emmy’s behaviour and choice of friends from outside the school grounds that he brought into the cafeteria that one time.
The problem is that there is this new exchange student in the school. From Moscow. He’s a patient kid. Took the bullying egged on by the principal of all people, in stride. Got pushed around a bit by a Ukrainian kid who just kept harassing the Russian boy for a long while. And always egged on by the principal of all people. Turns out the Principal hates Russians. A long story about some Russians holding their ground back in his grandfather’s day or something. Anyway, eventually the Russian kid had enough and kicked the shit out of the Ukrainian kid.
The Principal made it known he would do nothing if any of the kids in school were to teach that Russian kid a lesson, but the problem is that the Russian kid was picked up by his dad that day and his dad had bright blue eyes that looked very intense, like he’d been in wars, and he had. And he had a weird tattoo on one forearm that said Hypersonic and on the other that said NukeSubsin your Port. It’s odd tats to have, to be sure, but the thing is he glanced at the Principal of the school when he picked his kid up, and since then the principal has been very quiet about pretty much everything.
And now Emmy is shooting his mouth off, saying he can beat that Russian up, and he isn’t afraid of no Ivans, and blah, blah, blah.
In the meantime, the Russian kid is now going up to each of the bullies that stole his lunch money from him and some of the other smaller kids too and having a bit of a look. He goes up to them with the Ukrainian kid in tow, who just keeps his eyes down now and does whatever the Russia kid tells him. And now he’s looking at this big stupid girl called Moldova, who has been harassing the crap out of this little girl calle Trini Sinistra, and the Russian kid looks at Moldova, then he slaps the Ukrainian boy right in the mouth and says “Odessa. Move it”. And the Ukrainian kid you can see really doesn’t want to but is going to take off his watch, that is an Odessa brand apparently. And the Russian kid keeps looking at Moldova, daring her to do or say anything. And there are a few other kids now following the Russian kid, hoping that the Russian kid and this other big, quiet Chinese guy who seems to be his friend, might help them get their shit back from the Principal’s office, which got confiscated over the years.
And there is Emmy, shooting his mouth off, thinking his aging Mommy will protect him while she breast-feeds him like she does every night, even though he is 13.
Well, it’s not really going to work out so good for Emmy. Everyone can see it but him. Even Mommy can, most likely. But she’s getting on a bit and is tired, and she doesn’t have it in her anymore to fight all his battles. it’s all she can do to keep breastfeeding him and telling him he’s her special boy. And she falls asleep every night she starts to think maybe it will be fine, maybe she won’t wake up anymore. Problem is, at the rate he’s going, Emmy might get a bloody nose. Well, she’d think maybe it would even do him some good, but who’s she kidding, she knows, it won’t. She knows Emmy is gay, always has been. Born that way. He can’t help it, and he’ll never be one of the big boys he so desperately wants to belong to. Well maybe he’ll get lucky. Maybe one of the immigrant bigger kids will take him on and marry him after she goes for the long sleep. That’s her hope anyway.
Posting the recent short story, Red Space, reminded me that I have fragments of stories and half-finished books all over the scattered contents of some 30-plus years of writing, I wonder if it might be worthwhile to place these in a collection, or to develop them into full-blown novellas… especially when contrasted against the non-fiction books I also would like to write.
If you have a preference let me know.
My short stories remain mostly unpublished and have a considerably wider range of concepts, styles and approach than what regular readers might be used to.
If I had to guess which writer I probably remind one most of, in the short stories, I would not know, although I am aware that there is a generic sense of either the numinous or the metaphysical or a slight… reverberation of things beyond the merely physical, that I am most aware was present in the writings of Philip K. Dick. Although our styles are quite different, I think, at heart, our underlying premises concerning the more rarefied aspects of our fiction writing, are probably closer than most would guess.
And from beyond the veil, I think Philip agrees with me.
The Flatulent Warnings of Macaroon
Mommy’s boy “president” Macron, has been doing what mommy’s boys in playgrounds where their mommy is also their teacher, have been doing forever: He’s been shooting his mouth of as if he was some big, tough, schoolyard manly, man.
The reality, of course is that the only reason no one has bitchslapped him and then flushed his head into the nearest urinal/toilet while giving him an atomic wedgie, is purely because Mommy (the USA) is looking over the playground. But the fact is that Mommy is tired, and has the principal looking over her shoulder (Israel) who has had quite enough of Emannule, or Emmy, as he is known to everyone in the playground, because mommy’s boy is a blusterful, emotional, effemminate little runt, that has only ever been seen kissing mommy, and holding hands with some of the immigrant boys that live near the school, but never an actual girl.
And at least one of the other teachers is not best pleased with Emmy. And hasn’t been for a long time, at least since 2018 when she complained about Emmy’s behaviour and choice of friends from outside the school grounds that he brought into the cafeteria that one time.
The problem is that there is this new exchange student in the school. From Moscow. He’s a patient kid. Took the bullying egged on by the principal of all people, in stride. Got pushed around a bit by a Ukrainian kid who just kept harassing the Russian boy for a long while. And always egged on by the principal of all people. Turns out the Principal hates Russians. A long story about some Russians holding their ground back in his grandfather’s day or something. Anyway, eventually the Russian kid had enough and kicked the shit out of the Ukrainian kid.
The Principal made it known he would do nothing if any of the kids in school were to teach that Russian kid a lesson, but the problem is that the Russian kid was picked up by his dad that day and his dad had bright blue eyes that looked very intense, like he’d been in wars, and he had. And he had a weird tattoo on one forearm that said Hypersonic and on the other that said NukeSubs in your Port. It’s odd tats to have, to be sure, but the thing is he glanced at the Principal of the school when he picked his kid up, and since then the principal has been very quiet about pretty much everything.
And now Emmy is shooting his mouth off, saying he can beat that Russian up, and he isn’t afraid of no Ivans, and blah, blah, blah.
In the meantime, the Russian kid is now going up to each of the bullies that stole his lunch money from him and some of the other smaller kids too and having a bit of a look. He goes up to them with the Ukrainian kid in tow, who just keeps his eyes down now and does whatever the Russia kid tells him. And now he’s looking at this big stupid girl called Moldova, who has been harassing the crap out of this little girl calle Trini Sinistra, and the Russian kid looks at Moldova, then he slaps the Ukrainian boy right in the mouth and says “Odessa. Move it”. And the Ukrainian kid you can see really doesn’t want to but is going to take off his watch, that is an Odessa brand apparently. And the Russian kid keeps looking at Moldova, daring her to do or say anything. And there are a few other kids now following the Russian kid, hoping that the Russian kid and this other big, quiet Chinese guy who seems to be his friend, might help them get their shit back from the Principal’s office, which got confiscated over the years.
And there is Emmy, shooting his mouth off, thinking his aging Mommy will protect him while she breast-feeds him like she does every night, even though he is 13.
Well, it’s not really going to work out so good for Emmy. Everyone can see it but him. Even Mommy can, most likely. But she’s getting on a bit and is tired, and she doesn’t have it in her anymore to fight all his battles. it’s all she can do to keep breastfeeding him and telling him he’s her special boy. And she falls asleep every night she starts to think maybe it will be fine, maybe she won’t wake up anymore. Problem is, at the rate he’s going, Emmy might get a bloody nose. Well, she’d think maybe it would even do him some good, but who’s she kidding, she knows, it won’t. She knows Emmy is gay, always has been. Born that way. He can’t help it, and he’ll never be one of the big boys he so desperately wants to belong to. Well maybe he’ll get lucky. Maybe one of the immigrant bigger kids will take him on and marry him after she goes for the long sleep. That’s her hope anyway.
Her only hope.
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By G | 11 March 2024 | Posted in Humour, Russia and GAE, Short Stories, Social Commentary