Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

If you know, you know.

Taken from the twitter of Don Ackle

Roleplaying the Apocalypse

I’m thinking of writing a second module for my RPG Surviving the Current Zombie Apocalypse.

(Available as a full colour PDF you can print here,

Or as a full colour hardcopy book you can get from Amazon here).

The first module is also available at the E-store and Amazon, but I would like to make sure it is, firstly wanted, and secondly relevant, so I am conducting a small poll as below, the first answer assumes you don’t care about the RPG game and/or about any modules for it. If that is the case I still would appreciating you taking the half-second it takes to indicate your lack of interest by clicking on that option.

The other options assume you either have or will have the game and are interested in the module too but prefer one of the identified scenarios.

The first ten people to leave an actual comment that want me to do so can also give their name and I will include them as either potential pre-made players characters or as relevant NPCs in the game. If you add some detail about yourself I’ll try to include it. By giving your name and leaving a comment you give explicit permission (but not a requirement I am obliged to fulfil) for me to use it in the module.

The module will get done only if there is sufficient interest, so please let me know.

Which Type of Scenario for STCZA would you prefer?

View Results

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The Soft Americans

Some 10 years ago now, when in the long ago, there existed a FB group called the Dread Ilk, before it was nuked by the Lizard man’s minions, in that group there was much talk about guns and bravado and how the USA would never be taken over by… commies… let’s just say, because the average American citizen had a bunch of guns and ammo and not even the US military, where it to turn against its own people in some civil war scenario, would ever be able to keep the good Americans down.

Me and a Finnish guy were the only ones that told everyone there (who were mostly Americans) that their delusions of heroism based on growing up watching Hollywood SFX while they gained fat guts fuelled by Cheetos notwithstanding, they were, in fact, hallucinating.

We posited that if and when various laws were going to be passed about having in your guns and they started going house to house to collect them, most people would give them up rather than go out in a blaze of Waco style firefights.

Today, we are ten years on and I still see very little evidence that the Average American would resist much of anything. HOWEVER, although I think Abbott is a gatekeeper and most of Texas just Kabuki, there is the possibility that given the breakneck speed of chaos that the deep state is pushing, it might actually catalyse some rednecks and hillbillies into shooting back, which might then have a domino effect.

If it did happen, it would undoubtedly be messy and ugly, but almost undoubtedly preferable to just being docilely marched into a FEMA camp.

It may just be that TPTB overstepped the mark a bit too soon.

This would also explain what I think is their pivot:

Arm a bunch of illegal aliens with the promise of “citizenship” and get them to police the original Americans (not the original, original ones, known as redskins, those guys are done already; just the whiteys that came from Europe a few hundred years ago).

If that foreign invading army starts shooting first, and given they have the training, discipline, and tactical know-how of rabid ferrets, there is also the chance that the average beer-gut yankee, might actually begin to transform into a Wolverine. Well, ok… an irate hippo anyway.

Anyway, I pray for my redneck brothers across the sea, and hope a few of them at least, and their progeny, remain free.

Sex Robots with AI: Feminists most impacted.

You may be too young to remember the absurd Feminist war cry that came out in either the 1980s or 1990s, I forget, that said:

“Women need men, like fish need a bicycle.”

And yet, here we are today…

It looks like it’s women that need men more than men may need women.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I have always ignored anyone with even a hint of feminism in their make-up with studious and amused indifference, except to entertain myself by at times simply saying something that would instantly turn their heads into IEDs as well as also make it obvious to everyone present they were bitter, insane, harpies that no one wanted to have sex with, and that was the primary cause of their “feminism” (mental instability) to begin with.

If you doubt me, just go look at images of the “luminaries” of radical feminism. Start with Andrea Dworkin. Before you do, make sure you have an empty stomach. The dry heaves will stop after about an hour.

But the point is that men, left to their own devices, will find or create a solution to almost any problem. Again, I am certainly not advocating for sex robots, far from it, but the reality is that a LOT of potentially perfectly suitable males that in the past would have got married and had children and had a happy and meaningful life, will in fact go down this hellish route, and they will do so in larger numbers than you expect, because the hard reality is that while men have, over the last couple of hundred years, overcome extremely large aspects of what one might call their “primitive” biological wiring, to become more tolerant and tractable, women, if anything, have only increased their solipsism, and intractability in general.

The future belongs to those women who embrace their femininity while doing the necessary violence upon their own base instincts to begin to act logically, honourably (a concept that is at best nebulous for the females of the species) and reliably, to a degree that makes men take notice.

Women who embody such qualities and look reasonably attractive will literally have the pick of quality men, who, rare though they may be, are usually always in more plentiful supply than the aforementioned type of woman.

I have been observing this trend since about age 16 and the last almost 40 years have done nothing to dissuade me from the idea that I am correct about this required next step in human evolution. The only question is whether women will catch up before we go extinct.

As I said, the future belongs to evolved, feminine women; or possibly, albeit briefly, to sex robots with agreeable AIs.

Free Entertainment

As John Adams said, the unintended entertainment value in the comments is better thanmost netflix series. Or something like that.

If you want to have a laugh, go to this Sigma Game post and read the exchanged between “Grace” and me (The Kurgan). The last comment I just typed out on that thread should be enlightening about how women process things when they get emotional (and all too often even just in general).

YES! Finally.

The Dark Herald finally says out loud what all sane people who read The Watchmen have knows for years and years, but that the prevailing narrative of leftydom has been pretending was not the case the entire time.

“The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout ‘SAVE US!’…and I’ll look down and whisper ‘No.” – Rorschach, Watchmen

Twitter decided to go into Goblin mode last week on the question of Rorschach and whether or not he was the real hero of Alan Moore’s Watchmen. I won’t be going into that question here because my colleague Literature Devil did a much better job of answering that at Fandom Pulse.

And by the way, the answer is YES, obviously. He was the only one that didn’t compromise with Ozymandius about his retarded plan to save the world by faking an Alien attack. This short bus idea was based on sci-fi scribbler and pedo Arthur C Clarke’s belief that if Aliens attacked Earth, we’d drop all our differences and unite against it, which anyone who has ever read a history book knows is utter drooling idiocy.

Rorschach was indeed, the only character who had the concept of honour and ethics, and above all, Justice. Pretty much all the fictional heroes I ever liked have that as their prime characteristic.

The old DC Heros RPG game used to have little index cards for each of the known characters of the DC Universe, and in it they had various attributes. Aside the usual Strength, Intelligence and whatever was an attribute that was I think called Primary Motivation (I could be wrong about the descriptor, it was a long time ago), anyway, pretty much the only comic book character I ever read at the time anymore was Jonah Hex, and his Primary Motivation was perfectly stated: Seeking Justice.

The other fictional graphic novel character I relate even more to, Dago, has really the same motivation, coupled with a really unhealthy curiosity and a decided lack of fear/wisdom about the kinds of things he ends up getting involved in because of that combination of traits, which in the case of Sago is a lot more fully developed since the character has been going for over 4 decades I think.

Batman was a poor substitute to me, since he never killed anyone, and that made no sense to me. The Joker tries to kill of (and usually does) bunches of people and Bruce Wayne just gives him a bit of a beating. What? Jonah Hex would have strung him up to the nearest tree and watched him choke out to make sure he was dead. Dago would have run him through with sword and dagger and kicked his gasping into the nearest open sewer.

And Rorschach.

As far as I am aware, only these three comic book supposed anti-heroes, ever really had an honest concept of Justice.

And it is funny to me that Alan Moore, the noted super-woke artist who plagiarised the character, in his attempt at making Rorschach into a crazed and bloodthirsty nut, failed so spectacularly that he didn’t realise that most normal people empathised with him the most.

There is, of course, another thing about Alan Moore, [Correction: it was probably Frank Miller my brother spoke of, since Sin City is his creation, but Moore and Miller know each other and are apparently friends] which my brother pointed out, as we both read most of his graphic novels, and that is that my brother recons (rightly in my opinion) that Moore has a very severe case of what is known as “Captain save-a-whore”. In some of the Sin City stories, the protagonist literally looks like Moore, disgustingly shaggy hair and beard and all, except he can fight; and of course, it’s some tragic whore-saving story.

Of course, I don’t know any details about Moore’s life at all, (or Miller’s and I enjoyed Miller’s works) nor do I care, but given how he looks, I can imagine how he might have gone about getting some intimacy and affection throughout his life. I’m just saying. After all, write what you know, eh?

Hilarious Because True

This is one of the best short YT Videos I have seen in recent memory.

Table Manners

We’re all having breakfast and the little Viking has one hand down his pants.

Me: What’s wrong son, why have you got your hand in your pants at the table.

Little Viking: (looks up at me with a kind of concern, I can tell he’s hesitant to say).

Me: Is something wrong? Your willy sore or something?

LV: No.

Then why have you got your hand in your pants at the table, son, you know that’s not right.

LV: Dad, because my willy is sticking to my balls.

I’m not sure the ensuing laughter from the entire table was the socially appropriate response, but oh well, I can’t wait until he is accused later in life of manspreading. It will be another proud family day.

And today he drew me a picture that I basically interpreted almost entirely correctly off the bat:

LV: Daddy, I drew you a picture.

Me: Oh, thank you, I love it. It has a rocket here, I see (note the spikes on the rocket and the little man piloting it, with some red… could be his console or his exploding head from…) and this… some kind of fish?

LV: Yes. It’s a bat-fish. Flying in space.

Me: Yes, of course. I see that. It’s great.

Now I am thinking why I never imagined flying space bat-fishes in my stories. It’s such an obvious creature to encounter in any decent rocket adventure.

A New Rendition…

Of Old McDonald, by the little Viking. He was just hanging around the kitchen with me while I started the fire in the stove and he started singing to himself:

Old McDonald, had a farm, yia, yia, yo,

And on his farm he had a T-Rex, yia, yia, yo,

And the T-Rex ate Old McDonald, yia, yia, yo!

I never much liked the original, and you have to admit, his version of it makes for a far more interesting farm.

Software Rot

On SG Vox made a comment about how software is essentially not doing its primary business. Which is to just work. To do it’s function.

I recently came across a piece of software that actually does what it’s supposed to, very well. And then I had an update. I downloaded it and it was… 1.2Mb.

I knew then I had found a set of Dodo teeth embedded in lost Nazi gold: A software program done by people who actually understand how to program.

As I said on SG, when I become world emperor, the highest programming language that will be permitted will be assembler. Anything above that will be considered witchcraft and the perpetrators will be burnt at the stake. Buggy software released before it is functional will result in mass hanging of the whole development team.

I am also certain that if those things were implemented, within 20 years we would have spaceships able to travel to other stars.

No, I am not kidding. We would.

Programmers today don’t even have a baseline grasp of how computers work. They are basically like retarded children that have learn to pile up kitchen implements into shiny towers that look “impressive” to them, but have the functionality of a rabid rat having an epileptic fit in your underpants. While you are wearing them.

I truly believe that it should be acceptable for programmers to be whipped when their code is the buggy, crappy, incoherent drivel it so often is.

And no, I am sorry, there is no solving this problem without corporal punishment to those perpetrating the software crimes. It’s the only way.

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