Archive for the ‘Female Socio-Sexual Hierarchy’ Category

In Preparation for TMOS Part 6

I strongly suggest that, women especially, look at this 15 minute video from a woman that has interviewed 1000 women.

Pay attention especially between minutes 5 and 12 or so.

I found it interesting that she said people want other people to convert to their religion (after minute 10). I think she is mostly right. And I also think that the perspective for Sedevacantist is slightly different.

Yes we do want people to see the truth, but I personally do NOT want random people becoming Catholic. I am not aware of any Sede that does either. And when I say Sede I always mean actual Catholics. Because as a matter of dogmatic principle, Catholicism makes it absolutely clear that the only conversion to Catholicism that is valid is one that is entirely voluntary.

Specifically, in order to go from whatever one was, to proper Catholic, inevitably tends to mean a process of rather in-depth study of the history of the Church, the various dogmas of Catholicism when compared to reality as we find it and other beliefs we may have had and so on.

Her final conclusion that marriage only has about a 10% chance of working out is not something I looked into, and she may well be right, nevertheless, I still think that marriage is worth doing. I do agree that women used to stay in marriage in the past due to mostly external factors, and if we take that as the method of measurement then 10% may be optimistically high. But then, I have been saying women need to catch up and evolve some rationality, logic and emotional self-discipline for decades. Those who manage it, and who go on to get married and create numerous families, will be the ones that —along with the men who also evolved beyond mere brute force as the way to control their surrounding— create the next generation of worthwhile humans.

Aside from simply the fact it is the highest form of absolute truth I have yet encountered in human affairs, viewed from an autistic level of objectivity, because I did not start out with any kind of dog in the fight, this is also why real Catholicism makes so much sense. It is based on objective reason that absolutely reflects objective reality, regardless of how we feel about it, and the women in it are amongst the most capable, intelligent and rational I have ever met in my over half-century on this Earth.

And we Catholics certainly don’t shy away from the whole making a bunch of children and sticking with your wife/husband for life while you raise them, and beyond it too.

So, no, I don’t want people to become Catholic for any reason other than the real one: Because it makes sense and model reality accurately and they see and experience that in their own lives.

TMOS – Part 5 – On Marriage

In the previous Theoretical Models of Society posts (Search for TMOS) parts 1 to 3 and 3a, I covered generally “big picture” concepts, and in part 4, tied together how these apply and what they produce when seen in relation to the individual man. Here we will look at the context of marriage, while keeping all the previous points made in mind.

And for the offended feminists, yes, wait; there will be a part 6, and it will be all about the individual woman. The reason this will be done after this post that focuses on marriage, rather than before it, will become obvious by then. So much so, that astute readers will already have concluded many of the things I will write in Part 6 even before I spell them out.

Let’s get to it then.

The first thing to understand is that the only valid perspective from which to view marriage is the spiritual one from which it originated. As many already know, in modern parlance, this leads to the Catholic perspective. That is, the only valid form of marriage that is genuinely a marriage, has the following attributes:

* It is, and can only be, between ONE man and ONE woman.

* Once validly entered into by both parties’ free will, it is indissoluble and for life. It can only end when one or both parties die.

* Its primary (but not exclusive) purpose is to make children and raise them within a safe, loving, respectful, honest, brave, orderly, pious and kind family.

* The body of one now belongs to the other, and vice-versa.

* You are to treat each other with love and respect in accordance with the analogous relationship between Jesus and His Church (humanity).

* It is a sacrament, that is, a spiritually holy thing, that bonds the man and woman in it before God, as a lifelong promise.

Anything other than the above is simply NOT an actual marriage, regardless of any secular laws made or names it supposedly goes by. People can say that a homosexual “marriage” now exists, but it has the same relationship to reality as me, a 6’2” Venetian saying I am a 4’ Pigmy. Just because you call yourself a flying monkey, doesn’t mean you are one either, tempting as it might be to want to push you off a roof to prove the point with a certain finality.

And for those of you squealing about what a “bigot” I am, because I ignore “marriages” from other religions, no, I am not ignoring them. I am just categorically saying they are of an inferior type of “bond” and do not qualify as being a proper and true marriage. Regardless of if any specific such “marriages” work or are happy or not, the contention is that as a matter of principle, they are merely a set of pagan rules, designed to formalise the general ownership of the woman. Which differs considerably from a Catholic marriage. This will become obvious later in this post as you work your way through the concepts.

But let’s look now, in the context of all the previous TMOS posts, why marriage is as defined above only, and why anything else simply isn’t marriage. After which we will also look at what marriage actually is and what it does, within the larger social context that this series of posts concerns itself with.

The Why

For most of human existence, a few things have always been true, and most still remain true. These are:

* Men are generally physically stronger and thus automatically become the protectors of their individual family unit as well as their greater social tribe (which for many millennia was limited to a few hundred people at most).

* Due to the point above, men necessarily form natural hierarchies between themselves, originally placing the most physically and intellectually powerful, willing, and capable men of leadership at the top of the hierarchy. Lesser capable men, or men with specialised skill would tend to naturally fall into a hierarchy that formed below that, based on various factors, their agreeability, willingness to be in their generally correct place in the hierarchy, relevance of skill to the tribe, and willingness to lead. It is important to understand that willingness to lead, in an actual leader that was lacking capability to do so, would tend to result in either autocratic tyrants, or, “leaders” that would be short lived. And, of course, also both. Autocratic tyrants often tend to be short-lived, after all.

* Because ultimately the ability to en-force rules within the tribe was ultimately limited to men in general, and men capable of organising, and following the hierarchical structure and keep it coherent more specifically, the natural order of things is that those higher in the hierarchy of leadership traditionally most often had their pick of the most attractive and desirable females. And because females are physically weaker, at a practical level, for millennia, they probably had relatively little say in which man they ended up “belonging to”.

Absent other men who cared about her to en-force either her wishes or a good situation for her, she may well have been mostly at the mercy of the greater hierarchy within the tribe. This is relatively easy to understand when you consider that if you were a mid-level man within the tribe wanting to get together with the daughter of the tribe chief, who also has various lieutenants loyal to him ready to bash the head of anyone that doesn’t fall in line with the chief’s wishes, your approach to that would be vastly different than if you wanted to approach orphan Annie who has no brothers. And again different if orphan Annie also captured the eye of the chief rather than the eye of just another mid-level male or perhaps even a lower-level male in the tribe.

* Because of the above, women, while not usually able to en-force their wishes physically, nevertheless found ways to influence outcomes. Mostly by using their feminine charms to influence some man, to do her bidding (if the chief who forced himself on her as her husband/owner really repels her, she may try to suggest to one of the more appealing lieutenants that he should be rightful chief… and he could be… if only he got rid of the chief…). Similarly, by being able to influence other women, she could potentially influence a bunch of men. If she managed to be seen as the most influential woman in the tribe by the other women, those other women would all be both simultaneously trying to be in her “good books” while also becoming as influential as possible themselves in order to replace her.

This explains why women will quite effortlessly compliment each other when face to face, even if they hate each other’s guts, while subtly undermining them behind their back.

It may not be a very flattering analogy, but if you think of men as people who generally speaking respond to efficiency, you can see how that hierarchy would tend to form and what it would look like. While a female hierarchy would tend to resemble more what a gaggle of thieves may organise themselves as. Sure… the thief that is most successful at gathering “ill gotten goods” (usually by being the consort of whoever is the wealthiest man in the tribe) may generally be thought of as the “leader” of the thieves, but it is an ever-shifting and temporary status as easily lost as the attention of that same wealthiest man in the tribe may shift from the current thief leader, to a potentially more attractive or better manipulator-level thief. And as the saying goes: There is no honour among thieves.

Now that we have a better understanding of the general pressures of society on both men and women, it should be obvious that in each case, biology dictates the situation. And so far we only really looked at the ability to enforce one’s wishes, which for many millennia essentially relied mostly on the physical strength of a man do do so, and then on the cohesion and organisational ability of groups of men to do so.

This being the most important thing in human affairs. That is, the ability to project your force into the world so as to shape it to your desires. For most of mankind’s existence this has hinged on the physical attributes of brute strength first, and ability to organise in coherent and durable hierarchies second. Over time this second ability became superior to the individual and formed the basis of society in general. Whatever rules the people most capable of organising the force-projection of men as a whole wanted to have, became the laws of the land.

Of course, if these rules were too harsh, or, conversely, too weak, other men, just as capable of leadership, could organise and plan a take-over of the leadership and power-projection structures.

It is little wonder then, that in these larger contexts, the role of women was relegated in many cases to the level of possession. Prized and cared for possessions in the best of cases, but still, in general terms, possessions.

Nor, despite the squeals of the fat, ugly, and unpleasant women, was this really necessarily a bad thing for women. If you were a prize worth having and the envy of the other men and women in the tribe, being treated well by the most capable man was generally speaking not a bad deal. As his woman you had more influence in the tribe than pretty much anyone else except the man that “owned” you, and your children with him too would be safe and well cared for. This also explains why women, in general, can more easily hop from one king’s bed, to the bed of the next guy who killed that particular king. Or at least do so with less trouble than most men would prefer, or feel comfortable contemplating.

Over millennia of such genetic selection for reproduction, women would tend to be most attracted to a man’s qualities that marked him as a potentially capable leader of men and protector of her and her offspring, than his specific looks.

While from a man’s perspective, the most physically attractive woman would tend to be the most desirable, because, generally speaking, unless her personality was especially toxic, she was bound to usually fall in line with whatever the man wanted or said. Her specific personality was less important. It would generally affect the man’s life usually less significantly than a man’s personality might affect a woman’s.

All of the above stems primarily and simply from one biological attribute above all others: the ability to project force effectively; and thus impose one’s will on others, and, simultaneously, preventing others from forcing their will upon you.

This, in essence, is the ability which shapes the hierarchies of men and the behaviour of women more than any other biological aspect of humanity.

One other important factor to keep in mind is also that women are always absolutely certain that any baby they give birth to is certainly theirs; even if the paternity might be dubious, depending on how easily she gave access to her womb to multiple men within a short span of time.

Which brings us to the next point of biology.

Because maternity is always certain, but paternity is not, for the longest time, because a woman could essentially be forced into sex by most men who had unfettered access to her, that act, of forcing yourself on a woman, was seen in generally homicidal tendency by any man that was responsible for her, be it her husband/owner or her father or say brothers (who generally can be assumed wanted to preserve her chastity in order to give her the best opportunity to pair with a man capable of protecting her and caring well for her).

That all said, a woman that was unhappy with her husband/owner, prey to her own wishes and desires, may well “stray” with a man that she was more attracted to if the opportunity presented itself, but only in secret, because the alternative could result in her own punishment, ostracism or even death, alongside that of the man in question.

So once again, this too, only reinforces the overall general sense that women were to a certain extent, possessions that were to be provided for and protected from other men; especially if you wanted to be sure that any children that came out of her were actually yours.

Run this subroutine for a couple million years and you get the concepts of honour (which is ultimately linked to effectiveness) of men, and the sneakiness of women (do what you must to survive and/or get your way).

Which is why ultimately it is foolish for a man to expect a woman to subscribe to the same concept of “honour” a man does.

Honour for a man means you keep your word even if your life depends on it.

Honour for a woman may be at most limited to ensuring your children are actually yours if she actually loves you, (as men are most likely to understand love anyway, which is rather different than how women may process it) regardless of what other indiscretions she may have got up to. But most times her concept of “honour” would be limited to ensuring she does whatever she thinks will provide her and her children with the best possible situation in terms of resources, comfort and status.

Right then, so, after all that… why marriage?

Because it was a public way to ensure everyone knew what was what.

If everyone knows that Jane belongs to Tarzan, any other monkey that comes sniffing around Jane will get their head bashed in by Tarzan, and everyone will know why, and accept that’s how things go.

And of course, back in the day, if Tarzan was actually Genghis Khan, he could have as many “wives” or “property” as he was able to keep as “his” and guard them from other men sneakily introducing their DNA in his family line.

This explains pretty much ALL the various forms of rituals that were invented to “solidify” this ownership of the woman by a specific man. Whether it was Islam’s multiple wife culture, Hindu marriage, Ancient Roman marriage, where the man had power of life and death over his wife and children, or any number of other systems, the purpose was essentially always the same, and not too different from the basics of property rights.

For all versions except one.

Enter Catholicism

That was how humanity, across pretty much all cultures and beliefs did things, until the Catholic Church came about, instituted by Jesus Christ Himself upon this Earth.

Now, the model of relations between Jesus Christ and Humanity (represented by the Church), gave a very different perspective on the situation that had existed between men and women since sabre-tooth tigers. And that was this:

Jesus was the indisputable leader of mankind and to be obeyed, yet, He also sacrificed Himself totally for us. And this model suggested the model of marriage that actually produced the most productive, fair, capable, and beautiful societies that have ever existed in the entire history of the human race. Why?

Because while not denying or ignoring ANY of the biological realities human males and female are both subjected to, Catholicism introduced the True and Loving approach to the pairing of men and women.

Go back to the start and notice what I had up there as the defining characteristics of marriage.

See that part there that says it’s only valid if entered into by the free will of all parties concerned? That’s a pretty big deal for humanity when you consider the 2 million years prior.

So, right away, Catholicism gave women the freedom and agency to be able to choose their husbands. Furthermore, it defined marriage as having specific duties for both sides, as well as an overall purpose.

The overall purpose was the creation and raising of children in order to create a nuclear family, as, again, identified right at the start of this long post. Of course, not all couples can have children, due to whatever unfortunate medical or physical condition, so although this was the primary purpose, a secondary and also important point was lifelong companionship, love and intimacy.

In order to uphold this purpose, it is only logical and reasonable that both the husband and wife, by entering marriage of their own free will, are also taking on some specific and irrevocable duties specific to marriage.

Both have the duties of:

* Remaining in the marriage for the rest of their life.

* Forsaking all others for the purposes of sexual, romantic and emotional intimacy related to it.

* Gifting their physical body for physical use sexually to the other, and thus, not be able to refuse sex to each other. This ensuring neither party is subject to sexual frustration.

* Not abuse of the gift of the other’s body by pretending to use it sexually when the other is ill, or there is a valid reason not to, including possible spiritual ones, but in any case, this is not a condition that should exist beyond a temporary time. “Not feeling like it” is not in itself a valid reason for either side. If there is an issue, the duty for both is to face it, address it together, including by prayer and basically to help each other through whatever the issue is and return to being able to have sexual access to each other’s bodies at will. This point is important because it fosters balance and kindness in that neither a general unspecified reluctance to engage sexually, nor an unreasonable request for it if one party is injured, ill or otherwise indisposed, is considered the norm or acceptable. The norm is perpetual and easy sexual access at all times that it is generally possible, and comprehension and discussion with a view to resolving any issue that from time to time may arise that impedes that, for what should in any case only be a temporary period required to resolve the issue.

* Raising their children within the same set of rules that their marriage is based on; that is, the Catholic faith. And since this is the primary purpose of marriage, not use contraceptive methods that would impede reproduction and thus make the sex act not a creative one, but essentially a masturbatory or intentionally sterile one, which ultimately promotes lust, or hedonistic selfish pleasure, at the expense of life and duty to it.

* Remain faithful to each other and the Catholic faith regardless of whatever unfortunate event, tragedy or circumstance befalls either or both of them.

* Present a united front against all enemies “foreign and domestic” so, both against people and events outside the family, as well as people and events within it, be they relatives or even the children. As a marriage is said to form “one flesh” it makes sense that a such a “body” cannot be in conflict with itself, and especially not when facing outside challenges or pressures.

Furthermore, each sex has specific duties that apply only to them. The main ones tend to be as follows:

For men (husbands)

* To provide and protect for their families and especially their wives and children.

* To lead their wife and children theologically and generally in life, not in what best suits the man specifically, but rather, what is in line with Catholic teaching and also best suits his family as a whole. The benefit to his wife, children, and family as a whole takes precedence over his own desires, well-being, or even survival. Of course, this principle being followed also means that in general terms, excepting some drastic circumstance, his continued survival and existence, as well as a general well-being is important too, because his absence, or continued lack of basic care, would ultimately impact on his duty of caring and leading his family in accordance with this principle.

* To love and cherish his wife, and in so doing, a woman, well led, well cared for, Catholic in belief, becomes her best self and becomes generally more loving, kind, selfless and less prone to sinning (behaving in ways that undermine the marriage and life in general too).

* To protect, including by pre-emptive action, as much as possible, the weak or innocent from predation, injustice, and evil actions in general. While this applies generally as a Catholic man not just within marriage but as a whole, it is worth mentioning here too. Because it is a quality expected of all Catholic men at all times, and as such must exist within a marriage, as it is also a sign of the quality of man and thus leader of a household that a man should aspire to be. It’s absence in general terms can be seen as a red flag prior to entering into marriage with such a man.

For Women (Wives)

* To obey their husbands as men obey God.

This point alone sends feminists into an incandescent rage, and because secular degeneracy permeates everything today, even a good portion of women that say they are not feminists, and even supposedly “religious” and “christian” women. So it deserves a little explanation. The relationship between a husband and wife is parallel to, or analogous to, that between Jesus Christ and humanity. Through love of us, flawed humans, He sacrificed Himself even as He attempted to teach and save us when alive. Similarly, a man that is acting correctly, is sacrificing himself and his desires daily for his wife and family. A woman, because she is biologically far less capable of being as “altruistic” as men (as we have seen in the previous explanations above) are prone to acting based on their emotions and solipsistic desires, instead of the greater good of their children and husband, that is, their immediate family, much less of the greater community or humanity at large.

You may feel this is unfair or not true, but the reality borne out by the facts is overwhelming. Which is why we now have tons and tons and tons of data that prove without doubt that women are less capable and nurturing than men even at what many assume is their best ability: raising children.

Single parent households of single mothers have children that are far more prone to delinquency, using drugs, having teen pregnancies, be subjected to abuse by their own mother (than by their father in single parent homes were the children are raised by the father alone), including more likely to be killed by their mother than by their father in single parent households, be more prone to be sexually abused by strangers, have generally lower academic results, less well-paying jobs, are more prone to suicide, and mental illness, and are more likely to become divorced themselves later in life. This could not be the case if women actually were more nurturing and generally better at raising children than men are. Similarly, even if the commonly accepted narrative is that men are more violent, this too does not bear out when it comes to domestic violence. The highest incidence of domestic violence is between lesbian couples, and the lowest between gay male couples.

The point here therefore is not that men are perfect (godly), and women are incorrigible trash that should just shut up and do as they are told; but rather, that since it is simply a fact that men are generally, objectively, and empirically, better than women at making long term decisions that affect their entire families, women should simply accept this and try their best to support the decisions their husband makes without being a nagging shrew that makes every choice a tribulation and strife the man needs to overcome before any useful action can be taken.

A simpler way to explain it is that on a ship, including a relation-ship, there can only be one captain, and when all is said and done, his word is law.

While the executive officer (XO) first in command after the captain, can chime in (usually only and specifically if asked, bar rare exceptions when the XO may make a welcome positive addition or respectfully make an observation the captain may have missed) they do so respectfully, carefully, and only after first having given due and proper consideration to the captain’s orders, which 99 times out of a hundred need absolutely zero input from the XO, because the captain is aware and considering usually more things that the XO is even aware exist, never mind has noticed.

Lastly, on this point, it is not perfection that is expected; for, just like men fail daily to obey God and be perfect husbands in all things, so will women fail at being perfect wives, but the point is to genuinely strive to be the best you can be and also to gradually improve at least a little day by day.

* To love and cherish her husband. So, be kind, loving, loyal and affectionate as well as respectful to their husband. In this way, just as a man makes a woman want to express her best self through his loving protection, providence and guidance, so a woman makes a man want to be his best self for the woman that treats him respectfully and lovingly. This is generally what is meant by a husband or wife “sanctifying” the other. In more secular terminology, treat a woman properly (while never permitting your authority to be questioned, it needs to be said) and she blooms, and similarly, a woman that treats a man properly will see him move mountains for her.

* To raise the children in accordance with the general rules set down by the husband, while also allowing herself to be somewhat of a buffer between the children and their father, since necessarily his rules need to be generally enforced more strictly than her rules, as a husband’s rules are for the most part to safeguard his family from all the dangers posed by those people and events outside of the family home, and thus more important to follow. While the rules of a mother tend to be for the general smooth and pleasant running of the home within the family, thus more geared for a harmonious home than outright survival, or at least things that can impact the whole family in very serious ways.

Now that we have seen both the why of marriages came about, and also the details and differences of how pagan “marriages” work, in their infinite manifestations, when compared to a Catholic marriage, and have far better understanding of what a Catholic marriage looks like in its specific internal dynamics, we are finally ready to understand the larger concept of what a Catholic marriage is and does in larger society.

I need to, once again, remind you and be clear that when I refer to a marriage, I really mean, specifically and only a Catholic Marriage. Because every other perversion of the concept, be it some pagan version from some heathen religion, or worse, a heretic one like Protestantism or even a schismatic one like Eastern Orthodoxy, not to even mention the absolute abominations of the concepts that homosexual “marriages” represent, they all, without exception, fall short of the primary purpose of the existence of marriage in the first place, and secondly, fall far short of the ideal relationship within marriage.

They fail at its primary purpose (making and raising children to form a nuclear family) because:

* We can immediately exclude all homosexual partnerships since they are biologically incapable of it.

* Secondly, we can immediately exclude all relationships where reproduction is artificially prevented, since it is clear that if the very purpose of marriage is being prevented intentionally from happening, then the real purpose of that “marriage” is something else (usually hedonistic pleasure).

* Thirdly, we can exclude all those “marriages” where the possibility of leaving the partnership is not absolutely excluded, since this means that there is no intentionality to remain a coherent family unit for the purpose of raising children as well as mutual growth and companionship until the end of life. And we can also surmise that any relationship where this is not a definite pre-requisite for entering into the relationship in the first place, is likely to make the choice of being in such a relationship quite light-heartedly and not very seriously. After all, if it doesn’t work out you can just bail out and try again. More the recipe for buying an inexpensive household appliance than selecting a life-partner.

On the above basis alone, we are left with very few possibilities, since only the (real i.e. Sedevacantist) Catholic Church still and always, insists in marriage being indissoluble other than by death.

But even if we were to find some sect, or a pair of individuals that whilst not Catholic still subscribed to the other three basic components identified above, we still have the issue that their children would be unlikely to follow in their parents’ footsteps in this regard, since they do not have 2,000 years of tradition, but more importantly, empirical evidence, that this way of doing things produces the absolute best societies that humanity has ever been able to create throughout its total existence.

And that aside, we are also left with the absence of the duties being specifically different for men than for women in the marriage.

In short, only a Catholic marriage fulfils all the above parameters and in doing so creates a whole that is demonstrably more than the sum of its parts.

The situation is fractal and the good present at the smallest scale, that is, the individual Catholic man or Catholic woman (yes, I know, the post on the individual woman will be next), is magnified within a marriage of a Catholic man and woman that go on to create Catholic children. And the good that such a Catholic family exhibits internally, is once again magnified when taken in the context of many such families forming a Catholic community.

The works that Catholics have done in the ages are unparalleled by any other religion.

Catholic monks literally invented the scientific method. They had much to do with astronomy, math and science in all its forms in general, especially natural science.

The works of intellectual reasoning of people like St. Thomas Aquinas, St. Augustine and the other illustrious doctors of the Church are a testament to both science (logic) and art (the beauty of the truth they expose is undeniable as it is in a sunset, a dawn, or a flower). The increase in justice that was brought to human beings in general, both by the new relation that men had with women as well as each other, resulted in the abolition of slavery and the treating of women and children almost entirely as property.

The communal aspects of Catholicism, while never being so overbearing to squash individual expression, nevertheless fostered the virtues that dogmatic Catholicism espouses, namely the four cardinal virtues of Prudence, Temperance, Justice and Courage, which if applied daily produce a society of people that act prudently, calmly, honestly and bravely, and the three theological virtues, of Faith, Hope and Charity, which as the overarching zeitgeist of a community or people, produce pious, hopeful (so generally optimistic and positive) people that are generous and kind.

It is not hard to see why within Catholic communities crime is practically non-existent, especially when you consider that Catholicism also rejects the dogmatic seven sins: Pride, Sloth, Gluttony, Lust, Wrath, Envy, and Greed.

There are also less pivotal but still important virtues and sins that are also promoted or rejected, such as beauty in the positive sense, or gossip in the negative.

The overall result is that communities made up of people in Catholic marriages are genuine societies where people generally and naturally help each other and look after one another, despite all the usual human flaws we are all subject to.

A last important point I would very much like you to note, especially if you got this far and yet harbour the idea on some level that all this post is really just a contrived strategy to make Catholicism appear as better than it really is, I would like you to please re-read this, and note a few things:

1. I merely presented the objective facts of the case from first principles. You are free to present alternative answers that satisfy all the effects of a Catholic marriage. Provide examples of your theory that we can see having produced that very result you hypothesise for two millennia. (Pro-Tip: You can’t.)

2. While it is true that absent belief in God and His Trinity means it doesn’t necessarily follow that one would reach the same conclusions of Catholic Marriage, if you bother to run the thought experiment in the other direction, that is, trying to see what purely secular values would come up with, and on what basis their foundation would rest (realise that “oh well people just are generally good, so they would all agree to do X” is nonsense and is actually resting on the ruins of degraded Catholicism, and nothing else), you will find that we would reach the current, Rome in its last gasps, or Weimar Germany with its sex shows of transexuals peeing on people’s faces in the cabarets, pretty sharpish. Alternatively, if you try to envision a secular society that would stick to the same morals that Catholic marriage espouses, you will find it impossible to have a reason why they should if not the very real and deep belief in God and Catholic Dogma with all that goes with it.

3. Regardless of your personal belief system, which is unlikely to be Sedevacantist Catholic, the simple reality is that if a model produces good results, it is best to use it at least until you find a better model that consistently produces better and reproducible results.

And if you remove your personal emotions from the equation, you will find it pretty much impossible to find a system that produces equivalent results, never mind better ones than Catholic marriage and Catholicism in general.

I can say that with confidence because I did not start out as a Catholic, and I have exceedingly good powers of objective reality observation that are far above the normal average. In fact I started out with the view that Catholicism must be one of the worst possible models (mostly due to being fooled —as most are— into the belief that the Novus Orco Vatican II heresy is actually Catholicism, instead of what it really is: Satanism with a Catholic mask on). It was only by purely objective measures that I concluded Catholicism as a model of reality was superior; and eventually actual Catholicism pre-Vatican II and all its heresies and heretics.

On that last point, the only even remotely passable society I considered at least palatable was the one prevalent in Feudal Japan, but even then, it was hardly fair, just, or particularly humane. The main attraction point was that if you were lucky enough to be of the samurai caste, you did at least have the option of behaving in a way that could uphold justice, even if at the cost of your life in many cases. It certainly does not even begin to be equivalent to a Catholic society, but it would at least be generally tolerable to me, given that I am essentially quite able to deal with direct confrontation quite comfortably. But even so, feudal Japan’s social rules have long ago been eclipsed, and going around slicing people’s heads off for rude behaviour is somewhat frowned upon in our day and age, so it’s not as if it was a viable alternative anyway.

Conclusions

We can see that “marriage” in all its various forms was mostly a way to retain control of a man’s lineage and progeny by identifying a specific woman (or women in the case of certain societies) as being his exclusive property.

This state of affairs is inevitable given men have a monopoly on the use of force when compared to women.

The modernisation of treating women as human beings to be cherished, loved and protected, and married and committed to for life (and only one of them at the time) is relatively new and the sole province of Catholicism. The fact it was later “adopted” by corrupted versions of Catholicism (Churchianity in all its legion of names) does not change the fact that it is an institution first created by Catholicism.

Catholicism does not ignore any of the biological realities of male and female bodies, roles and psychologies, but allows both to support, complement and take care of each other each according to their abilities and specific duties, all within a greater context that permits good flexibility in the individual specifics of each marriage or individuals involved.

Such a marriage leads to coherent and positive communities that in turn create great advances in art, science, architecture, technology and really every endeavour of mankind, but all within a context of loving beauty and hopeful positivity. No other system of pairing of people produces this effect to anywhere near the same level of positive outcome.

Therefore, unless you wish to be in an actual marriage, with all its benefits and also all required duties, there is absolutely no need for you to ever enter into one of the pretend “marriages” that people indulge in, be it civil (government approved) contracts, pagan “marriages”, or worse of all, brutalist perversions of actual marriage, such as those performed by the fully heretical Protestant endless denominations that allow (and have no authority to deny) all sorts of degeneracy and destruction, such as divorce, abortion, contraception, gay “marriages” and so on.

As a man, given the current climate of secular society, why would you ever enter into a contract that can be broken at any time for any or even no reason whatsoever, while almost certainly ensuring you lose access to your children and also have to give half of all your created assets and wealth to the now divorced ex-wife?

And as a woman, why would you ever commit to care for a household and raise the children of a man that may abandon you as soon as you get too many wrinkles and his younger and sluttier secretary flashes a bit of leg at him after you gave decades of your life to your family only to be cast aside?

Quite simply, there is no valid reason why people who are secular should ever enter into a “marriage”. Doing so is really just a cargo cultist action. Following through with an action whose purposes and realities you understand not any better than aborigines in the pacific did that building an effige of a plane would not bring them containers full of goods either.

Marriage is only required of people who are interested in building civilisation, instead of dancing with abandon on its rotting corpse.

It is a serious and lifelong commitment with no way out; done with a clear understanding of all it entails, not simply because you really like and have great sex with the girl or guy in question.

And since only Catholics envisioned marriage in a way that was both functional and effective for humanity at every level, be it individual, family, or community level, but is also loving, made only by the free will of the participants, and is held as sacred in their most core and fundamental belief system they have: Catholic Christianity, it makes sense that you should enter into marriage only if it is an actual marriage.

In short, if you want to be married, you really should become a proper Catholic first.

The Limits of the SSH

If you are new here, the Socio-Sexual Hierarchy (which only applies to men) explained by Vox Day has had a lot of controversy around it and has been criticised, lauded and everything in between.

To be fair to Vox, he was always clear that his SSH was essentially a tool for generally understanding and predicting male behaviour in a social context and that it was fractal; which I think is a word that confuses most people and he might have got the point across somewhat better if perhaps less accurately by saying that it was contextual.

The point is that a guy who is generally an Alpha in most social situations might become a Delta in a situation that is totally unfamiliar to him.

The designation of Sigma has also gone viral to the point of almost absurdity, right up to people trying to ban the use of the word in schools.

There is a fairly exhaustive overview of the whole concept done by Sigma Frame that has some overall decent points to make, even if in some respect they miss the point, due to trying to retain a strictly “Christian” (still heretically Churchian to people like me) perspective, when in reality, the SSH is essentially silent on the topic of religion. The archetypes exist in any religious denomination of any religion under the sun you might care to imagine.

Anyway, the point I wanted to make here is that although it has already been noted that completely “pure” versions of each archetype don’t exist, because humans are messy, there is one aspect of the supposed would-be Alphas/Sigmas that I have noted over the years that is essentially the “chink” in their self-deluded armour.

What I mean here is that genuine Alphas, can and do have various weaknesses, and this is not news, everyone does, but there are certain types of “Alphas” that although would indeed be deemed to be alphas by most people, are in fact, mostly playing a role. A role they have convinced themselves of too mind you, to the point where they may even react unconsciously as the supposed Alpha they are; nevertheless, there remains an undercurrent of self-doubt.

I was recently asked by my friend Tony why I had referred to various people as Sigma-Gamma, Alpha-Gamma, or Omega-Gamma, and so on.

It is a difficult concept to get across, but he understood my attempts and defined it beautifully. Referring to two of these people, who may as well be polar opposites in many ways, yet also share some similarities he said:

It’s like they are both somehow performative caricatures of something… like their own, idealized versions of great men

And that hit the nail on the head.

Now, it was not performative in the rather obvious ways that someone trying to impersonate what they think is an Alpha, or whatever, can be. It was a subtler thing, like for example having a rule about never smiling in photographs taken in public. Or, on a recent podcast I saw, a rather well-known podcaster that seems relatively unassuming and calm, as he espouses relatively hardcore traditional values for men and women, stated he simply does not cry pretty much, ever, even when someone close to him dies. And yes, of course, that is generally true of men, but something about the way he said it set off my “this guy is forcing himself to try and be what he thinks the peak manly-man acts like” radar. I am sure he wasn’t lying, that he does not in fact cry, almost ever. Partly it can also be cultural, but there was an element there of insincerity. Some lack of real connection with his deeper self.

Of course, you can just think I am full of shit and just making assumptions without evidence, but that is not what I am doing. I come to these conclusions only after years of observation and confirming my observations to the point I can predict how these people will react, and do so in a way that goes “off-script” for their supposed archetype (which they tend to be very invested in.)

So, while I may not be able to give you a concise explanation with all the evidence, if you had 30 hours to review events that a specific person took over years of time, and then I can predict for you how they would react to X, Y, and Z in ways that contradict what most people would assume would be their reaction based on all the observations, and if I can do that repeatedly with different people claiming Alpha, Sigma (or more rarely Omega status) Or even who have just been labelled as such by others, then I would say that would be some solid evidence. Of course, I can hardly demonstrate that to you in a blog post, but I live that experience, and have been able to transmit it to others who bothered to try to confirm my observation, and they noted my predictions as correct too, so I know it is valid.

The difference, between what I would call a more genuine, or perhaps more “total” Alpha or Sigma, is a deep level of self-knowledge.

You know how Gammas inevitably recon they are anything BUT Gammas? That’s because at heart, the Gamma is the very antithesis of self-knowledge. These are men who avoid the truth about themselves the way most people would avoid pools filled only with radioactive, rabid, giant eels.

Picture of an actual Sigma, facing one of the minor ugly sides of his real nature.

Sigmas in general are the ones with the most self-knowledge, which is why the opinions of others generally do not affect them very much, if at all. However, when you note a Sigma that repeatedly tells you how much the opinions of other people don’t affect him (and they generally don’t) but then has an obvious reaction when a specific point of fact about him is pointed out, accurately, mind you, not merely accusatorially, well… he may still, generally speaking be a Sigma, but let’s say he’s not a 100% DOC (Di Origine Controllata – That is, of the true 100% quality). And the same goes if he also pretends to not be affected by anything at all, ever, because pretty much everyone has something that pisses them off.

For me, especially 30 years ago, it was mostly being accused of holding views, or internal concepts that I absolutely did not, by people I generally viewed as at least moderately intelligent and/or capable. Today, 30 years later… eh, I realise the stupidity factor of even moderately intelligent and capable people is still waaaaay higher than my young and optimistic self used to hope for. And then Covid, and then the Ukraine war, and the Gaza genocide, and, and, and… has just made it very clear that the fault in my getting upset at their tragic misjudgment of my character or intentions, was the fault of my very own rose-tinted glasses, wild, wild, optimism about humanity as a whole, and some misguided desire of wanting to believe that, surely, if only I could lay out the facts before them… they too would be able to see…

So, today, if they are too stupid to figure out the basics, I will not waste any time trying to correct them or “help” them. But that is not to say I am unreactive to almost everything.

My daughter tells me enthusiastically about some absolutely trivial thing she did, or found out, or thought of at school, or some observation she makes that is probably obvious to bacteria on Mars on some level, and it could be easy to simply let it wash over me and not respond or react to any of it.

However, doing so would crush her enthusiasm for life, and as such would be a bad thing. I try to put myself in her young mind and think, why would she find this fascinating or interesting, and how did I think about it at her age? And as she is on the cusp of becoming a young woman, the pattern it paints is mostly still rather… well, as man, imagine being in a giant shopping centre of just women’s shoes. And having to follow your female relative around as she waxed poetic about every pair she wanted to try on, and did. It’s kind of like that. About 3rd level of Hell in Dante’s Inferno.

So I amuse myself by seeing if I can at all nudge her train of thought into something mildly more interesting.

“Oh you like the lacquer on those? I see… I think lacquer used to be made from tree sap. And possibly bug paste to give it colour.”

“What?!??!”

“Yeah, shiny bug guts under polished resin. Phenomenal stuff.”

“Wait… I don’t believe you, I’m googling it!”

“You know google is just a CIA Psyops to keep the truth from you, right? The truth is not in google. You need to find a book on lacquer printed before 1842. Original only, because they corrupt the digital and new print versions. Like Roald Dahl’s books.”

“I Don’t care about lacquer that much dad, and I don’t care who Rodney Doug was, or whatever.”

“Roald Dahl. He wrote Little Red Riding Hood, the story. You know, where she has a pistol in her knickers.”

“Oh DAD! Little Red Riding Hood didn’t have a pistol in her knickers! I know that story, remember, I used to tell you about it, when I was little.”

“Google it.”

“Oh come on, I…”

“Google it.”

(huffs, types in phone… reads…) “Wait… what?”

“See? Now what pistol do you think it was? Probably a low calibre, right?”

And so you see, terminal brain death narrowly avoided once more.

Of course, that’s my daughter and I love her. 99.99999% of the rest of the planet that tried to subject me to that, I would find an excuse to get away, or possibly murder them and get rid of the body, if they insist.

But my point is that Self-Knowledge is ultimately the total measure of a man. A man that truly, deeply, knows himself for example to be a coward, and say, accepts it, is someone that I have more respect for than one who fancies himself a hero, maybe even acts as one in many situations, but in reality, perhaps even not fully known to what extent even to himself, he is, in fact, a coward.

It’s not that I necessarily think of him as evil, or intentionally deceitful (though some are) it’s just that I can’t take him all that seriously when he clearly is not even familiar with himself at any real depth.

So, when considering the SSH and what generic category a man may fall in more than another, remember that not only is that archetype at least partially and sometimes almost wholly, contextual, but just like there are always more stupid people than you can possibly imagine, there is also just a lot more Gamma fragments in far more people than you imagine. Including… terrifyingly… possibly… yourself.

But the only way to know for sure, friend, is to actually look under the proverbial bed.

Then get under there, armed with a sharp knife in your teeth, swim down to the monsters under there, and face them.

Advice to Sub-Optimal Men

This Xeet prompted this post.

Note the 27,000 reposts, and in case the writing is too small, here are the 4 images the commenter “Myka” does not give any fucks about at all.

Now my general feeling on this sort of thing is that the men who whine about this just need to grow a pair. Or not, and die without reproducing, with any luck.

And of course that no man at all should ever reproduce in any fashion, or even have any sex, whatsoever, indeed ANY involvement at all with women like Myka. If men followed this sensible advice, within about a month, the entire world would be aflame with how all men are evil and so on. After about a year, feminists would have almost died out, and after a decade the only feminists left would be in mental institutions for the unfortunately insane.

But I am trying to be more compassionate and understanding to those men that have been already crushed by life, their single mothers, or whatever. Maybe you’re a short, hairy goblin with nothing going for you. And it would be unfair for me to simply tell you to “man up” if you understand that in the context of you being able to marry a supermodel not being possible only because of your lack of confidence.

So let me spell things out.

Absolutely you need to change what you can. Get fit, make sure you are always clean, dress better, shave or laser your over-hairy ass, improve your job prospects and career, and so on. Sure, do all of that, but above all, the ONE thing you absolutely CAN do is fish in your level.

As a man you should be able to be brutally objective. So first fix all you can reasonably fix. Then give yourself a fair rating.

Personally, even when I had hair, i never rated myself above a 7 or so, even if objectively I knew that for a not insignificant number of women I was definitely at least an 8 in looks. And in ambition and what I was doing in life, again, for any woman overly concerned about material wealth I have fluctuated from a 2 to an 8 and in some cases a 9, but any woman that understood my nature at all was more liable to rate me a 6 or at most a 7. What I always had in spades however was an unflinching dedication to simply be me. Regardless of what anyone else thought of it. And that, at least temporarily, despite all my other numbers being lower or even much lower, made me at least an 8 and often an 8.5 or even 9.

I provide all the different metrics because unlike men, women do not rate us simply on looks.

It is not a councidence that most of my girlfriends, and certainly all the ones I was interested in to some more or less serious degree were invariably rated at least as 8s by men that generally had been successful with women and often as 9s and rather often as 10s by all the men who had been more averagely successful with women. Many a time I have been told by literally dozens of co-workers from multiple companies, that I was “punching above my weight” and more than once at various large company Christmas parties I was noticed by literally the entire firm, including the owners who would act deferentially to me despite me being merely one of the several people at my level they employed.

I have literally had random strangers stop me and a woman I was with in the street to congratulate me for the beauty of the woman I was with. And even today, I get friends who, without in any way saying this to “get in my good graces” rave about my wife.

I am not telling you this to depress you or show off.

I am trying to explain to you an important point that if you can internalise it will aid you in your quest for a genuine, long term companionship, marriage and a family more than any other single thing you can do.

The reason I did so well, was because I correctly evaluated all my metrics and played to my strengths. And my strengths are absolutely real, forged in the deepest fire of personal self-knowledge.

I have turned down large amounts of money, very hot women, and all sorts of other things in order to not do anything that would compromise my own sense of integrity. So, bending to some temporary whim of a pretty woman was never in the cards for me. This, of course, has the effect of immediately seeing off pretty much any woman who is not a full blown psychopath/narcissist but has those tendencies. Their need for some form of manipulative control over the man (victim?) they select simply drives them crazy when faced with someone of my temperament.

On the plus side, normal women wired in a healthy way, tend to be attracted to that level of confidence (so do all the pretty but damaged ones, which brings up another set of problems we won’t go into here).

The point is that deep and true self-knowledge is always the key. That is step one. Step two is to improve all you can, but it is step three that is the absolute silver bullet insofar as one exists:

Look in your own range.

It would probably be difficult for a guy that is 5’5”, has the genes of predisposition to fatness, is born poor and has a single mother raising him, to have the same level of hard-headed conviction I seem to have been born with. And I absolutely believe part of it is due to my Aspergers, which does not present as such due to high IQ and the luck I had in my rather unusual early life. But the point is that if I had been born in that body but retained my mental attitude, I would probably have been comfortably married a lot sooner, have more children and my friends would rave about how kind and pleasant my wife is. And she would probably be a 6 or maybe a 7 at most. Because that is where I would fall overall if you removed the physical advantages I have.

But let’s say you are overall just a 2.

I actually know people like this. Literal cripples with disfiguring handicaps, no real money or any special prospects. And yet both the ones I know personally are happily married and have been for years. One studied hard, became a lawyer, made money, then travelled to the East and essentially “bought” a filipino wife, being brutally honest with her. He really is about a 2 and she is about a 5 or at most a 6. But his overall number is probably a 4. He is wealthy. And the difference between a possible 4 and 6 is his level of self-knowledge. When I first met him and we spoke a bit he simply stated exactly what I said above and his wife was present. They had been married and living in London for over ten years. He praised her for being loyal and helping look after him. Maybe she was more nurse than wife. Maybe there was a financial arrangement we know nothing of. But his wife did not look or present as miserable and neither did he.

The other guy is married to a woman that also has some physical handicaps. They clearly love each other, have been together for decades and she is a very kind and decent person no one can say a bad word about.

The point is that both men went after a woman within their own numbers.

As did I. And let me tell you that the search at the lower end of the pool, once you accept this truth, is FAR easier than at the “pretty” end of the pool.

The reason was well known to me even decades ago, as is evident by one of my very first posts back in 2007 in a now permanently parked ancient blog (Take note of the relevant image here.)

And has been known by men worldwide at least since the days if the crazy/hot matrix of the early 1990s.

So. Do not despair. It’s only 4 simple rules:

1. Fix what you can fix externally (looks, hygiene, clothing, income, etc.)

2. Chose who you are internally. Learn and know deeply who you really are, so no matter the situation, you will almost always already know how you will react to it. If you are mot how you wish to be yet, do whatever you need to do to become it.

3. Rate yourself honestly in all categories and hence in the overall number you are and then go fish in the pond of your own level.

4. Do not despair. Just correct any errors and persevere.

That’s it.

If you want more detail and context you might also want to get Caveman Theory, but honestly if you just do the 4 steps above, you will eventually succeed.

And never forget point n. 4.

Secular Dating Advice

The videos of Orion Teraban are generally good advice and this one is too, concerning what he refers to as the present day dating market.

However, it is not correct to say that things were really any different ten or even twenty years ago.

I have been essentially out of the dating market since early 2017 now, but I was certainly in it from about 2004 or 2005 until then, with a hiatus of some 5 years or so between 2008-9 and early 2013 which is how long my second marriage lasted. Before that, online dating wasn’t really a thing for me because I had been in a long relationship since before the internet until that ended and I met my first wife shortly thereafter, which sort of imploded about the 2004/2005 point.

There are some observations I found interesting in comparing my own experience with what Orion states in the above-linked video, and as these may be useful to younger men that are still in the process, I thought it would be useful to share them.

The first point is that the advice concerning the having high hopes but low expectations is absolutely correct and is probably pivotal if you’re not going to he a bitter and resentful weirdo. Personally, maybe because of my slightly autistic but high IQ perspective, this was never really an issue after a certain point. At first my main frustration was really more about my perception that women’s brains appeared not to function properly. Logic appeared to be a mystery to them and when you layered that on top of the basic 30 point IQ communication gap that I tend to have with most people, it honestly felt as if I was trying to have a meaningful relationship with monkeys.

If you are a woman reading, I realise how all this sounds misogynistic, etc. etc. But your feelings on the matter are irrelevant, because this is not about you, but rather my lived experience. So, you can either continue reading and possibly learn something about male and female interactions that may be useful to you, or you can get offended and stop reading or rage against it, either way, my life and perspective will not change one iota. So, comport yourself accordingly, and consider this your lesson number one in basic logic.

Now, returning to us, men, the experience felt disturbing to me because on the one hand I had the vague idea (instilled by boomer lies) that men and women were supposed to have equivalent brains, and on the other, my lived experience was that I was generally dealing with creatures that were possibly more akin to a pet you can have sex with than a real, thinking, human being.

It seemed to me that the female brain was hardly at all interested in any of the abstract things that interested me on almost any level, and were instead apparently fixated almost entirely on the human interaction level, to the point that gossip, drama, and needless emotional negativity consumed their lives. The only positive aspect of this was the sexual component, in which they could become as interested as I was, even if they started out relatively tame. Once I demonstrated to them certain aspects of their own physical and/or mental sexuality they had either not explored or encountered before, they generally speaking became, sexually at least, quite entertaining. And they quite often also mistook sexual compatibility with being deeply in love. A facet I tried very hard to prevent them from confusing, certainly when I was not interested in them in that way.

I did not want to have a pet-like relationship where the main component of the relation was essentially only great sex. It got to the point where I started to worry that I would end up seeing women in general as just that, creatures to have sex with but not even bother trying to engage in any other meaningful discourse. I knew this was not reality either, though it also quickly became obvious that the boomer lie of equality between male and female brains was just that: an outrageous lie.

As a result I also took up reading about the differences between male and female brains and although the literature on it is scant (because God forbid anyone tells the truth, doing so gets you cancelled if not incarcerated these days) one of the more useful books on it is Mapping the Mind by Rita Carter. Though I note with some cynicism that the linked book is an “updated and revised” edition, so I am not sure if it still says the things it used to or if the “updating” has resulted in a sanitising of any politically “unacceptable” facts.

At any rate, the reality is that the male and female brains have noticeable structural differences. And once you know this, a basic grasp of logic will immediately tell you two things:

One: they will perform differently

Two: they will have developed (or been created) differently for a reason that is valid in reality, regardless of what political narratives by homoglobos, boomers, satanists, feminists, or anyone else, will tell you to the contrary.

In large part, that is how I developed my Caveman Theory, (see books I wrote) and using it as a model certainly proved very useful in my life.

What changed for me was that I began to study the women I dated more as a scientist might, and noted a number of behaviours that while irrational in the specifics of my circumstances with them, had an original logical and biological imperative behind it. Once I catalogued these behaviours and recognised their origins as per my model of reality, it was then just a matter of on the one hand accepting reality as it is, which was the easy part for me, and on the other, reconciling what my tolerance for humanity could be raised to without me losing my mind.

I discovered that I could genuinely enjoy the company of women, regardless of what I would have labelled as their chicken-headed behaviour a few years earlier, as long as it was somewhat limited, or at least when they had a certain level of self-awareness. Women that were aware of their irrational behaviour were quite entertaining and even endearing at times, which made up at least for a bit of the times they behaved essentially insanely from a male perspective.

The change was that I had gone from processing women as:

beings incapable of reason that had only sex and a generic companionship level to offer for the relative trouble having them around entailed

To:

Partial aliens that had biological motivations stuck in reasons that originated from millennia in the past if not millions of years ago.

Suddenly they were interesting beings again, and I could appreciate them not just generally but also at the individual level.

Yet, I was also aware that becoming overly invested in one of them that did not cross the threshold of minimum ability to reason and be self-aware that I required, was a stupid thing to do and entirely my fault.

This realisation was of course gradual and only improved over time. Nor did it necessarily make me aware of various pitfalls that can be encountered, such as getting involved with narcissists that have oscar-like acting abilities, and ignoring various red flags because you’re into exploring all the facets of this partially alien species.

The outcome, from a purely secular standpoint is indeed a rather brutal one. You will bounce from one woman to the next, leaving behind the ones who you can’t tolerate beyond a certain level or who vice-versa can’t tolerate you.

It is true that in this purely secular mode, it becomes easy enough to bed various women and it is true that in that milieu, you find plenty of women who also are just interested in the sex and not much else. Certainly I had plenty of encounters where the main factor was just to satisfy our respective curiosity of each other’s bodies. Those situations usually lasted no more than a few days, and sometimes only mere hours.

But then you realise too that even though you are now able to fulfil pretty much any purely sexual desire you may have, there is still something missing.

Considering women as a kind of partially alien species still does not permit that level of intimacy that gives you a sense of deep fulfilment. Yet, at the same time, and paradoxically, as so many deep truths are, if all you focus on is your desire for that deep connection, you are almost certain to never get it, or experience it, other than perhaps only as your own delusion; which is all the more devastating when the illusion inevitably collapses, and the faux-relationship ends.

It was then that I realised that the only thing left in terms of relationship challenge and goals was the very thing that boomers have advised my generation against all our lives: creating a family and having children.

My first attempt at this succeeded only insofar as my daughter was created, but failed by every other metric after which I had a revelatory experience and began to study the reality I had encountered concerning the reality of a Loving God I had never really believed in before.

In reading parts of the New Testament I realised that the nature of the relationship between a man and a woman that led to the creation of functional families, was not only absolutely correct and made perfect sense, but it was also so far removed from my own experience and even way of seeing things that it might as well be in another Galaxy.

I resolved to simply drift through life with whatever female companionship I could tolerate. I had no specific need for a permanent relationship, personal loyalty beyond a few (but relatively absolute) aspects, or even much in the way of connection beyond any woman I had anything to do with not irritating me past a certain level.

I did not try to mask any of these realities and I still wasn’t short of female companionship, but I was mostly indifferent to it beyond some biological and emotional basic needs for sex, some human connection, and a certain level of peace.

Gradually however, as I deepened my understanding of God, and concluded the Christian God was the real one, and more specifically the Catholic God, and even more specifically that only the sedevacantists were still actual Catholics, a natural, organic, and quite honestly mysterious change came over me, and in some way, mysterious and unknowable in human words, yet, life, God, myself, and the Universe, all seemed to conspire to get another, extremely unlikely one, to come closer to me over time and then, all of a sudden, in one day, move in with me.

The first few years were certainly difficult, and there are plenty of practical issues left even today, but for the most part, the emotional and intellectual ones we have worked out. And in some ways though we have been married 7 years already, it all feels as if it happened a few weeks ago. And in other ways it feels as if we have been together for 40 years.

The difference between my marriage now, the only one I did as a baptised Catholic in a Church with all the correct Catholic procedures for it by a real Catholic priest and also a Bishop, and the relationships I had before, is not something that is in any way easy to put into words.

What I can say without ANY hesitation at all is that it beats all the other experiences put together in terms of fulfilment and peace it brings to my life.

The connection is real and deep and although generally speaking my wife is not especially interested in astronomy, martial arts, or even, the theological details of Catholicism, I certainly can converse with her about pretty much any topic and she is more than capable of keeping up with any of them, being as there is no IQ communication gap, and this is undoubtedly absolutely fundamental for me. And although women on that IQ range definitely have a bunch of quirks, some of them truly trying for an impatient man like myself, (for example, she simply has no conception of time, and can take hours to get ready then sometimes do it in minutes, but it’s a process so random that no computer will ever be able to model it), I can handle them, because the positives she brings —in far more important aspects of life— clearly outweigh any minor irritants.

But none of this can transmit the sensation of connection I have with her that goes beyond anything I can explain in secular terms. We just barely even have the words in any language to even address it, and I don’t intend to try.

My best advice to you is to first discover the truth about God, the rest will take care of itself.

My book Caveman Theory is geared towards secular people, but the thread in it is based on pure logic and if you can do logic well, the natural place you end up at, by the way, is the same one that Catholics have taken for centuries:

Proper marriage and making children.

May you find your right path.

All content of this web-site is copyrighted by G. Filotto 2009 to present day.
Website maintained by IT monks