As I continue book 3 in the overlords of Mars series, I am continually surprised at how much can enter the persona of one of the characters, then switch to a completely different one and get into a very different mindset.
It is a very useful exercise for reminding us that we are not our ideas, or ideologies or even our most deeply held beliefs. And yet…
Something at the core that is absolutely founded on a bedrock of truth must remain. The mistake most people make is to think that such a bedrock is also formed in part by their political affiliation, belief in this or that ancestor’s idea about this or that “truth” or “tradition”. All the while, most of it is if not arbitrary, at least just optional.
Once you destroy the ego monsters that keep what you think of as your personality, what is left is truly quite simple and small, yet eternal.
And when you go digging into that, and it does not reduce at all, then that little fire expands and eventually… you reach an inescapable conclusion. that fantastic as it first seems, absurd, unrealistic, and counter to everything you have been told from birth… in truth… becomes undeniable.
You might have hated the idea. You might have railed against it from time to time. I certainly did. You might have thought it all a lie or stifling, or a way to control the masses and evil. You might have been fooled by the VAST number in modern times of people who used this undeniable truth for their own evil and truly dark ends. Almost all of us have been fooled in this way, really. And yet… it remains true.
I watch and listen, on and off, when I have some spare time, to the videos of Pietro Bisanti, they are in Italian so this will not apply to too many people in terms of those bilingual enough to see them for themselves. But Mr. Bisanti does speak and I am sure reads English quite well, so I will be sending him a link.
A quick summary before I criticise the man, and I think he is intelligent enough to realise that unlike some idiots he recently lambasted (rightly) for being Internet drama queens/grifters and various species of retards, I do so, not with the intent to reduce him in any way, but, since he is a let’s say semi-public persona, being on the internet of his own volition, and dispenses general advice and his opinions of life, the universe and everything, I think it’s fair for me to comment on them when I think he is doing a MASSIVE error and thereby also leading others astray. Fair enough that most who listen to him don’t listen to me and we do so in different languages, but you never know, and in any case, the issue is a global one that I recently addressed with respect to Karl Denninger on this very blog, so, although Bisanti is GenX and not a boomer, he is not going to be immune to a similar beam of light on him, highlighting a more typically Millennial disease, which, however, also afflicts a few GenXers.
Bisanti was an ex-Carabinieri (Italian Military Police) who became Maresciallo (usually the head guy at a station as far as I know) and worked as a Carabiniere for over 20 years. Today he works as a legal consultant and “igenista” which is, at my rough understanding, a guy who preoccupies himself with how different foods and activities and so on affects your health, including mental health, and who looks at health in general. He admits he made several errors over his journey in this field, being a vegan and a fruitarian at different times, which he states were both mistakes. He also suffered the usual “vaccines” for military service, but as far as I know refused all the covid nonsense.
I can’t really comment on his food-related stuff, as I am generally ignorant of it and I also tend to be supremely uninterested in that stuff since I can’t figure out the truth of various statements without doing my own research and I think it would take years of study and testing to know with any precision. Plus, I think each person is a little different, so, in my 54 years on this Earth I figured out what works for me mostly, and I try to stay within certain parameters and as I age I try to be a bit more careful. My personal favourite would be to eat mostly fish and other generally white meat that is healthy and natural with the occasional steak and some salads and some fruit and so on, otherwise I avoid grains and generally that’s about it, but I am not against the odd drink, or even, once in a blue moon, a cigar.
So my commentary has nothing to do with his primary chosen career, in which he gives seminars around Italy.
No, my commentary today comes only as a result of noting over the last year or two, that when Mr. Bisanti talks about women, relationships, marriage and children, his view can essentially be summarised as mostly negative.
Now, unlike a lot of the incels, would-be pagans, and MGTOW chronic masturbators, I don’t think Bisanti has or would have any real issues to get with women for a sexual relationship. He’s confident and fairly level-headed, has a generally healthy approach to reality as far as I can tell (except in this area I am going to gently rake him over the coals for) and I am sure there would be no shortage of female companionship if he actively searched for it. And yet…
Let me first point out, in no specific order, some of the comments he made that are so wrong that it caused me to think to write this post, in the (vain I am sure) hope he maybe takes a step back and reconsiders a few things and thereby also, I sincerely hope, improve his life, as well as perhaps give better general advice on the topic to his many followers. After each point, I will also critique as relevant. This should give a fairly comprehensive perspective of the man and his views, after which I can present my conclusions.
He commented on a documentary he says he saw based on some African tribe in Tanzania if memory serves me, where he said the general attitude was that the various adults would all have sex with whomever they fancied that was up for it, and there was no jealousy, possession, and so on, and —in essence— he thought this was a good thing (as well as believed it apparently). In short, a bit of the same concept of “free love” of the 60’s boomers.
Now… having lived in Africa for some 25 years, I can say that on hearing this comment of his I actually burst out laughing. Because I would bet you any amount of money that this fantasy place and tribe, is a pure myth invented by the producers of the ridiculous documentary. That is not to say that there aren’t rides or people in Africa that copulate with each other more or less with the same kind of abandon than a troop of bonobos. In fact, generally, in Africa this is not uncommon. But if you think that all the consequent jealousies, bitterness, and yes, assaults, violence and murder don’t go hand in hand with such practices, well, then, like our Mr. Bisanti, I can summarise your view as: “Tell me you have never been to Africa and don’t know a damned thing about it or its people, without telling me…” And yes I know Africa is vast and has many people and many tribes of Africans on it. And my statement remains unchanged. But to give you a perspective, think of the average hippie commune, be it in Europe or America, where it was Caucasians that tried this sort of “free love” experiment and then look at the results. It’s much the same. With quite a lot less murder, generally speaking, but really in no way a recipe for happiness.
On the video I saw today he said that if you live with a woman she:
Dictates the rules
Uses up all your time
Doesn’t let you pursue your interests
In general that basically a relationship or a marriage is a miserable way of living
Now, we all have our trauma, I am sure, and I am the first to admit that as a general rule the average Italian woman, compared to other nationalities I am familiar with, are more of a clingy, whiny, pain in the ass, but as always, that is a generalisation. And there are Italian women too that are far from it, as always, you gotta know what you want and what you’re getting into. But in all the relationships I had no woman ever “used up all my time” and sure as death and taxes, no woman I lived with “made all the rules”. Mostly because the very idea is absurd as far as I am concerned. The only “rules” any adult normal person should need are the basic ones of civilised behaviour towards each other and then whatever quirks you may have you need to adjust for each other. As for any woman not letting me pursue my interests, again, I am wondering what kind of women the man got with, or maybe I am wrong and he is a kind of incel. I just can’t fathom it.
I pursued things I wanted to do without that even ever being an issue. I trained in martial arts most of my life and pursued plenty of other things, I wrote books, scuba dived, learn and practiced hypnosis, travelled a whole bunch, enjoyed target shooting, hunting, and probably a dozen other things I was interested in and did for some time that I am just not even remembering right now. And while relationships that go wrong can be the source of the worst pain you may ever feel (yes, I am a survivor, please donate generously) they also represent the source of the best joy one can ever feel too. The fact that Bisanti seems to think the negatives outweigh the positives, does give me several clues about him and/or his life.
Children are NOT the source of joy. In fact he categorically stated that in the main, children are not a source of happiness.
Here I need to take a little pause to try to understand if the man even has the same definition I have for happiness, or if he has the same one that 19 year old bubble-heads on tik-tok have for it. So let me explain my definition. Happiness was one of those words that I asked myself if I knew what it was and remained mute to myself. Quite a bit like love. For a long time, I would think: “Am I happy?” And not really know how to answer that. Similarly, I’d meet or be with a girl, that I found interesting, or attractive, or sexy, and I’d ask myself “Is this love?” And again remain mute to the reply. I didn’t know.
Perhaps my own level of self-awareness is well beyond that of normal people, it’s possible, but I recall the very first time I realised what happiness was. I was 26 and driving a beat up old VW Golf and wherever I was headed I was contemplating this sensation that I had achieved a couple of times when doing karate kata repeatedly and non-stop, to the point that I could barely lift my arms and legs anymore, then, breaking through the exhaustion barrier, I got a sensation like a kind of light inside my head and then I could carry on a lot longer and nothing felt heavy anymore. It was like being a little in a dream but fully focussed and calm and the movements just came naturally. I knew about breaking through that wall of resistance from swimming years earlier, but the experience when doing kata was markedly different. In swimming I would just become like a kind of human robot, just moving, moving, moving, tumble, twist, turn, push off, moving, moving and so on, length after length of the pool. But this brightness, this kind of light in the middle of my head, felt different and it was while driving in my beat up blue and white VW that I realised “Oh! that’s what happiness is!” Finally I knew this word. And that is what I think objective happiness is like. It is a kind of unexpected consequence of something you do, you need to do, you want to do, you should do, you must do, duty means you do it, desire means you do it, all of the above. And eventually, if you do it well enough and deep enough, and hard enough, you get this pervasive sensation of happiness.
Yes, yes, I realise how sexual the above description sounds, and many women in my past no doubt recognise the issue. You’re all welcome.
But seriously, the point is that happiness is not about you getting everything you want on a silver platter with no effort. That’s not happiness. Nor is it the whine of the tik-tokker that wants the white knight with a Ferrari and the millions who is sensitive but also takes charge and who loves hearing her talk about the mindless minutia of her day.
Conclusions
In short, Mr. Bisanti probably has a somewhat limited perspective on the women of the world, being mostly familiar with Italian ones. Perhaps his specific brand of personality attracts especially clingy and/or “we must be serious about the relationship by doing x y and z” types (something I suspect, as he tends to be a pretty intense and decisive guy, so maybe a woman naturally thinks she should be too, so as to keep up with him, when usually, the opposite is more true).
Perhaps he’s just had a run of bad luck in his relationships. And undoubtedly, he also has bought into the boomer rhetoric of “free love”, which I understand, I had a somewhat similar approach to sex and women for some years after I decided that obviously I wasn’t cut out for long term relationships since the two major ones I had had had failed and the next two did too in a much shorter time period. After that, as soon as a woman irritated me I nexted her, and I did that for a long while. But then I realised that way of living was really ultimately quite unsatisfying. Perhaps Bisanti hasn’t quite reached that point yet, even though he is 48. On the other hand, all the Boomer nonsense people of his and my generation were marinated in, does tend to retard the process of realising certain things, especially about relationships.
He mentions however that he is the third of 11 children. Which mystifies me even more with his view of children. And says that at his mother’s house he never feels harassed, people talk if they want to, don’t if they don’t want to and everyone is chilled. Well, why should it be any different in your own house with a woman you choose to be with?
Maybe he just hasn’t found the right one? But I doubt it. I think that despite Mr. Bisanti being moderately intelligent and decently in touch with reality as it is, including on many aspects that it is quite hard for many people to realise, never mind speak openly about, be it the covid lies, immigration, crime and justice and so on, the man has been embittered.
I think he has let whatever negative crap he saw or sees daily affect him in a terribly sad way. And this is almost certainly the result of Mr. Bisanti being a reasonable man.
Luckily I was never afflicted by this pernicious issue of being a reasonable man. As I think Mark Twain said (I may be wrong), reasonable men see the world as it is and adapt to it. Unreasonable men see the world as it is and unreasonably expect it to adapt to them. So all human progress, is the result of unreasonable men. Which, in essence, is basically true. Sadly, most unreasonable men are also usually neuroatypical, and we polite, mild-mannered, Aspergers types are heavily outnumbered by the psychotic narcissists. But there it is.
And sure, life can always throw you absolutely unexpected and vile curve-balls; but buddy, Pietro, if you expect anything of worth to just stumble into your lap and “make you happy” you seriously have it wrong.
And if you expect your children to be a constant source of joyous entertainment, again, you are probably prancing in meadows looking for fucking unicorns too, but that’s not the point. Because even when at 3 am, covered in baby projectile vomit, all in your bed, and a leaky diarrhoea-filled nappy is dribbling all over you as you try to get the little bundle of screaming snot to a dry spot to clean him off, when you look into the face of that little dude with snot-running down his face, hiccuping and tear-filled, you can only feel love and the sensation that you wish you had all his troubles so he’d feel better. And buddy, no amount of tik-tok “happiness” or dozens of nymphomaniac sluts with model looks trying to drain you dry even begins to compare.
And that’s the bad days. The good days are truly awesome. You’re basically watching a sacred soul grow and learn and evolve in this world and you somehow had a part in making that happen and you will continue to do so until you drop dead yourself. And if I have any say in it, you’ll still look over them even after your body here has rotted away to dust.
You’re thinking too small Pietro.
You’re missing out on what really matters.
You’ve been afflicted by the Italian sadness. A thing I noted even as a teenager when I came here on holiday. Oppressed and squished economically and mentally and in so many other ways, the mind, the intellect, the imagination, the soul, of the average Italian was so limited. So incapable of imagining bigger and better things and then doing insane stuff to make them happen. Mind you it is not limited to Italy, I recall at age 16 when I was new in the UK and at school I asked one of the guys there what his life dreams were, the reply I got was:
Oh I’d like to just get married, and have like… two cars, a couple of kids, a nice house…
I looked at him incredulously and said:
“Man, that’s what happens if you just sit on your ass and do nothing. Don’t you want to sail the world in a 70 foot trimaran with an all female crew? Drive a Ferrari, something?!”
I’ve never forgotten his reply, and to this day it sends shiver of mediocrity down my spine: “Oh,” he said, “that only happens in the movies.”
I replied:”For you, with that attitude, that’s definitely the case.”
Now, as it happens I have not sailed the world in a 70 foot trimaran with an all female crew. Mostly because to get that trimaran is a lot of really hard work, and so is sailing really, and it really was much easier to experience the all-female crew on dry land one at a time (well, not at the same time anyway), and travel the world by aeroplane. And I did a bunch of other stuff and saw and experienced things that even most super-rich people who never have to work haven’t seen or experienced, and certainly not the way I did.
Sure, my life has had extremely deep pits of pain and heartache, but so what? I have experienced peaks of ecstasy, human intimacy, and love that few men get to experience in their life. I don’t really regret any of it. A life well-lived is indeed, and adventure. And you know what they say about adventures: They make great stories after you’ve survived them.
If you survive them.
So, my sincere wish for Mr. Bisanti, and all those like him, is to shake your fossilised little heart and brains up. Consider why you have such a dismal view of relationships. I am certain I have been through far worse heartache as a result of women than Mr. Bisanti ever has, or is likely to, and yet I never felt as negative and downcast about the concept of living with one woman for the rest of my days, and making children with her, as poor Pietro is.
In the last video I saw, here, about 7 minutes in, he states that those people who would criticise him and try to present their marriage as blissful paradise are liars, who might even lie to others or themselves, but can’t fool him.
Well, man, you’re just plain wrong. No marriage is all bliss and tik-tok “happiness”. None. Also, you can’t find any Unicorns or Pegasi. I know, the Pegasi thing especially is a cruel lie, but then I think it comes from Islam, so what do you expect. But I guarantee you man, some marriages absolutely can be like karate kata happiness. If you work hard enough and pour sweat and tears and blood out of you enough and you picked the right one, nothing compares. Really. Nothing does.
As a result of the last post, on SG the discussion had various points. One of the (many) poorly understood “red pills” that are probably the result of your average incel believing/taking advice from your average PUA, is this idea that women should not have an education.
In typical incel fashion, the pagans, the “red pilled” retards, and so on, seem to think that the general aim for humanity is for women not only to reject feminism (a good thing), but also to be semi-literate baby machines (not a good thing – the semi literate part. Like it or not, only women can make babies and everyone normal is fine with it. I know, shocker!).
That may work for you if you are of a certain religious persuasion that tends to hang around camels as nomads in the desert, but by and large is not a great idea for a happy marriage. At least, certainly not for me.
The problem is not a woman being well educated. The problem is if she buys into the feminist and other utter idiocy that the nonsense farms (colleges, universities, schools in general) put on blast every day you are there.
Even in the past, it was thought that for a woman to be well-read was a bonus. And personally, I have always been quite impressed by those women I came to know that had a varied and sometimes surprising number and type of books that they had read.
My wife has a facility with words for example and she is usually way ahead of me in things like anagrams, or play on words, and puns that I dare not repeat, for they are truly awful, as puns are meant to be. But more recently, she has even begun to mix English and Italian words into new constructions. Piggolina for example a mix of Piglet and Piccolina, for our second youngest, who has yet to find a food she does not like munching on.
And although she has not exactly had time since we have been together, she enjoyed reading Jane Eyre and is quite particular about enunciating words correctly and so on. She even managed to read through a couple or three of my fictions books. At least one before we were even together, a feat I don’t think many (any?) women accomplished, including the previous ex-wives. More importantly, I can talk with her about pretty much any topic and receive a reasonable feedback. You know, in the fleeting moments between various work things, and one or more of the five children climbing a wall after some fashion, needing to eat, or get changed, or somehow interrupting in new and varied ways.
The point is that a good education is a good thing, as long as the basics of life are understood. And increasingly, it looks like going back to earlier paper versions of books is really a good idea. I have four daughters, and while I do hope they find good men early and make lots of babies and live happily ever after, I fully intend to see to it they have a decent grasp of logic, reasoning in general, mathematics, and language(s), as well as reading and writing skills that are today seen as exemplary, but that in my day and opinion are merely normal. And if they should pick up how to change a tire, clean out a carburettor, fire a few types of weapons, survey a parcel of land, balance accounting books, and (please God) learn to operate the sewing machine stored in the side room, well, so much the better.
Which reminds me, Vox recently pointed out that books 1 to 8 I believe, of the Castalia House junior classics, are ready for shipping. And you can pick up the entire ebook set for $35 right now, so although if you can get the paper version it’s safer from the EMP strikes of nuclear war, and thus more reliable for when you’re hunkered down in your bunker, it’s certainly a good investment of great stories you can read to your children and then pass on for them to read to theirs eventually.
Along with a hand-written manual with a few blood spots on it of how to survive and navigate our own fast-approaching version of Alpha Complex.
I have criticised the boomer Karl Denninger before. Here, and here.
And now I will do it again, but on an entirely different basis, which actually ties in with a MUCH larger picture I have been trying to explain to other people for a long time.
In fairness to him, I think his overall point is not necessarily that high IQ, K-select people should not have children, as many have accused him of doing. I am quite sure he is merely pointing out why it is unlikely that they will. And insofar as his boomer level of analysis goes, he is “right”. That is, the average NPC will think and “reason” much along the lines Karl indicates. So my critique is not really with his observation of all the negative facts he points out. In the main he is “correct” about his individual examples of reasons why people are less likely to choose to have children.
The desirable people he and I both mean, that is, high IQ, K-select, generally honest and responsible, and reliable people with a good sense of justice, common sense and the ability to do at least decent levels of logic, math, writing and reading comprehension.
But as usual, Karl is missing the big picture. As is typical of the boomer mentality, that thinks primarily in terms of me, me, me, and even when describing global events is guided by their perennial laser-like focus on how anything affect them in the specific, he seems largely incapable of the very concept of synergism.
It is a rare skill generally, but it happens that some of us (mostly GenX) are naturally talented at it, so allow me to point out the errors of his thinking, starting from the exact opposite direction that boomer thinking begins at: that is, the REALLY big pictures frames first. The ones that ignore us, that is you and me specifically completely. Here we go:
1. Nature doesn’t care about you specifically
In the big scheme of things, those who do not reproduce sufficiently die out. Nature is pretty brutal about it and tends to operate on the principles of large numbers. And exceptions to that rule because of different large numbers.
It may just be humanity’s lot that we go the way of mouse utopia aka Universe 25. In which case, we’re all doomed and so are all our children. And if so, why worry about it. Worrying about it would be a total waste of time. Besides which you do NOT know this for certain, so assuming it off the bat is an error. So, as a function of reason and logic, this specific idea must be ignored.
Treating it as valid or true can only lead you to depression and misery in a situation where your irrational belief in a “certainty” you cannot possibly know is a certainty, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. This point alone, the Universe 25 possibility, should make it obvious that similar thoughts that lead down similar (if less total) outcomes are also to be ignored.
So for example, the idea that “all white people will soon be extinct” or “high IQ people do not breed together because there is not enough of them” or the more common “marriage and children is a loser’s game because all women are whores and will divorce-rape you” and all the various variants of that kind, are in essence self-fulfilling, loser’s bets on life. The fact that your specific marriage may turn into a hellscape, or your specific life becomes a dead end is not relevant to the entire sub-species you represent.
Yes nature does not care about you specifically, but you specifically can and do affect nature. Make 15 children and chances are most of them survive. If they all too make 15 children from age 20 on, like you did, guess what the landscape of your tribe looks like 100 years from now if you just start out with you and your wife as Adam and Eve? On that basis, starting with you and your wife having had 15 children by the time you are both say 40, if all your children and theirs and so on do the same, meaning that every 40 years they all have a batch of 15 children each, if you lived to be 140, you would have over 17 thousand descendants. 17,275 to be exact. And if the average age of death was say 80, then almost all of them would still be alive, since the first iteration (at year 20) is only 135 people. And that’s only ONE family. Imagine if you have ten such families in the same area. You now have a small nation after one century. Which in the scheme of things is not so much time. And if the genetic serums actually sterilise and wipe out most of humanity, you will not only be a small nation, you will be the majority within it. And it might not be such a small geographical area after all. Now imagine them all of the same religion that takes no crap from depopulationist satanists like Klaus Schwab and Bill Gates and their pedophile friends.
“But people don’t make 15 children each, and how do you feed them all, and send them to college?!?”
Patience grasshopper. People who bought the lies and live in clown world no longer make 15 children. But people did do that for centuries in Catholic countries. And that was before the internet, and Amazon deliveries, and often before indoor plumbing and central heating, and certainly before electricity and tractors and industrial fertilisers and automated harvesting machines… so let that sink in a little and park it in your brain somewhere while we continue to look at reality and possibilities instead of the ghosts boomers put in your head.
“But even if smart white people with good ethics, strong Catholic religious beliefs and enough money/land/whatever start reproducing at that ridiculous and unrealistic rate, they will still be outnumbered by the millions of dumb, brown, evil, people!”
First of all, even if things were reduced to that simplistic level of thinking, realise that the number of white people on the planet always was a minority when compared to the number of non-white people. And probably always will be.
Remember when I said nature doesn’t care about you specifically and operates on the principle of large numbers, with the exception of other large numbers? White people, and the Japanese, are two such examples, just to pick a couple. Despite not being a majority, white people have managed to secure lands and space for themselves very successfully over the millennia. A combination of strong imagination, higher average IQ, and religious beliefs that fostered high-trust and co-operation, served them well when they ejected infiltrating and noxious tribes, ethnicities and behaviours, which they did in the past with ferocious attitudes.
Similarly the Japanese have retained a really quite unique culture on this planet by similarly ruthlessly avoiding to entertain the admixing of their population with the teeming masses.
A perhaps even more shocking example is Catholicism itself, which around 400 AD or thereabouts, when it really was a dark time on pretty much all fronts for humanity in general and Catholics (i.e. the only Christians that ever existed) in particular, St. Benedictine decided to retire to some apparently godforsaken regions and start monasteries. And some 600 years later, the Catholic world was (and remained for a long time) the utter pinnacle of human achievement in everything from the arts, to the courage of men, the safety of lands that were previously the domain of brigands, the ending of women and children as chattel, and generally the betterment of humanity as a whole while being perfectly capable and able to fight back against less civilised barbarians that hounded them.
And keep in mind that Catholic monks do not even reproduce at all! But just by their influence, they firstly created self-sustaining monasteries, then spread the gospel and civilisation all round them, so much so that they even converted the Vikings that used to raid and murder them mercilessly, by giving them lands and asking for their protection. And after a couple of centuries, those same blonde giants were off to the Crusades to defend Christendom. All this was supposedly impossible if you accept Denninger’s base premise which is simply that basic math has all the answers.
Basic math has a lot of the answers, but life is always more interesting that that. As I wrote almost 30 years ago, in original version of The Face on Mars published in 1995, when dealing with math and reality, the theory looks like 1+2=3 or perhaps x+2=3 so we can figure out x easily. In theory.
Better scientists realise that things are a bit more like x+y=3 so both x and y can have a wide range of values. And synergists like me realise life is most accurately described as x+y=z, where both x and y and even z have ranges of probabilities and while computers can in theory predict things very accurately (if the input data is very accurate) they cannot and will not ever be able to account for human nature and reality as a whole. Because the fly in the teleporting machine, the asteroid against the dinosaurs, and the “crazy” St. Benedict, or the iron minded King Leonidas, will throw your entire large number theory set right out the window. And in fact, a human mind that can see these patterns of relationships and figure them out analogously, usually has a better chance of getting it right than any computer prediction of the future.
So. The realisation from point number one is that while nature does not care about you specifically, you specifically can affect nature. Crazy as that sounds. And the main item required for you to have a chance to do so? Unreasonable belief that defies current “popular” thinking, but is based in sound synergistic principles, like large number theory, persistence, and of course, the most successful human belief system ever used by humans, actual Catholicism.
2. Becoming that different large number.
If you want to avoid becoming the leaf in the stream that just ends up being compost, and if your entire tribe, way of life, family, looks like it is just being carried on by world events, guess what, you need to become one of those large numbers that is the exception to the large number concept that you will become extinct. How do you do that? Simple, really, if you think about it.
By being utterly passionate, unreasonable, counter-intuitively absurdly dedicated and persistent, over an equally absurd, unreasonable and “crazy” length of time. St. Benedict didn’t just decide to try his hand at monastery creation and life for a few years. He spent the rest of his life doing it. Relentlessly.
The reason I have achieved so many different things, visited so many places, speak three languages fluently and a couple or three others haltingly, and learnt so many different skills at a high level enough that I could reasonably be considered a professional at several very different endeavours, is because I simply put in more time, more effort, more obsessive thought and action into those things that interested me than most people do, and even than most supposed “professionals” in that field do in many cases.
So, if you want your DNA to make it, you need to go counter to the zeitgeist. Which is healthy in any case since the current “Western” zeitgeist is that you should submit to different cultures and ethnicities than your own. That the family unit is evil, marriage terrible, and making children a very selfish thing unworthy of civilised people. Oh and you should also be gay. Or a cross-dressing, self-mutilating tranny. And make your kids, if you were so unwise to have any, become gay, underage drag queens too.
Really, regardless of your intentions, going 180 degrees away from the current zeitgeist in the West is healthier than not doing so on any scale. But if you want to go the whole hog, then peruse this blog and the various articles I wrote on farming, beating clown world, and so on, and above all realise two things:
Yes it’s hard. Very. Get used to it. It’s just how it is.
Win. Build it. Find the impossible way. Keep getting back up and keep saying “Fuck them”. Eventually everyone dies, so make your life here count.
You overcome the statistics of nature by becoming your own large number anomaly. So git to it, you unreasonable madman.
3. The black pill is a lie.
All fear is a lie, ultimately. And the black pill of doom and gloom is pure fear-based poison. It doesn’t matter what type of fear it is. Fear you will not have a job. Fear you will not have enough money. Fear you will hate your life. Fear you will be a bad parent. Fear your kids will suffer. Fear you can’t do it. Fear you will fail. Fear.
Well, let me reassure you: You will lose your job. Somewhere along the line, if you haven’t yet, you will. You will never have enough money. Never. Elon Musk still doesn’t. Just ask him. Your life will have giant events of major suckage in it. Everyone’s does. You will fuck up multiple aspects of parenting. Everyone does. Your best bet is to keep the damage to a minimum and try and ensure your children understand reality and still love you when they are all grown up. Your kids will suffer. Everyone does. You will fail. Multiple times, at multiple things. You will feel fear in your life. Many times for many different reasons.
There. Got all that? Good. Now get off your ass and go do all those scary things anyway.
No one learnt to walk without falling down. A lot.
No one learnt to read and write without scrawling and misspelling first. A lot.
No one has achieved great things without persistently improving on his or her own screw ups. Failing is not the problem. Quitting is. So, as I explained, become your own large number anomaly. And if God is gracious he will give you enough of a brain to realise the miracle point of when it is not worth bashing your head into the same rock and when, instead, doing so, will eventually form a thick enough skin and skull that you will break the rock and break through to a better place.
Life is hard. Bad shit happens. People die. Evil exists. And on and on. So what? You can whine and bitch and cry and hide in a corner and try and have someone, anyone, everyone, feel sorry for you, or you can get up and become a large number anomaly. Them’s the choices, and no one gets a free ride. So pick one. I picked mine long ago.
4. Being afraid of 10 things means you miss the big opportunity.
If you do go and read the whole long litany of fear compiled by Denninger, you might get depressed. You might think he has valid points and they stack. Let me present just one case or two of his flawed theory.
Then you think about the child getting older. He or she is rather bright and would perhaps like a college education. You see the bills pile up on those who are there now, and the growth of that price over the last 20 years. You see $100,000 or more in debt larded up on someone who studies gender or black history and a “professor” who claims that capitalism is horrible — while pulling down a six-figure salary and forcing your child to pay the next kid over’s tuition in Calculus class because you, not your child, have more money than his parents do. You think “oh, my kid is a math whiz and will study programming” which sounded great 20+ years ago but then you remember the many H1bs that multiple large firms brought in to replace all of their American citizen programmers, forcing said Americans to train their replacements before being fired in order to get any severance at all! Thus that $100,000 taken on in debt to go to college, you realize, can be rendered worthless by said corporations even if your kid makes good choices as soon as someone from India will do the work for less money. This wild escalation in the cost of an education is not by random luck either, which would be a risk everyone has to take — three decades ago there was no Internet and colleges were the only real place you could learn a lot of things. Today anyone can learn anything from literally anywhere with nothing more than a $50 cellphone, a $200 laptop and $50/month for Internet service so why has the cost of learning and proving it at a college level of competence gone up by five or more times in the last 30 or so years instead of costing almost nothing to simply take a set of proctored tests and prove competence? Reality is that all of this is due to the deliberate policies and actions of universities, governments and corporations which will screw your child without any possibility of redress when he or she grows up — and there is no evidence that it is slowing down or will be stopped.
So he points out that:
College/University is stupidly expensive
They don’t even teach anything useful in most cases
You can learn most things to a decent level by doing your own research on a $200 laptop
And yet he’s really SOLD on sending kids to college.
Can you see the boomer level thinking? Screw college. Learn how to distinguish and grow the plants that can be used to make tinctures and remedies for various things and sell them only to people who you know. I guarantee you that when the next load of mRNA crap embedded in food, “normal” vaccine shots, or anything else comes along, the people with a still functioning brain will not care too much about your lack of a PhD if the stuff you use on yourself and your loved one works for them too.
Do you really need a degree to be able to put plumbing pipes together, or learn the principles of electrical wiring? Sure, insurance and such is a thing and if you screw things up, or even if you don’t you might be sued into ruin.
Yes, these are real problems, and sometimes have good reasons for being there. I certainly don’t want a pedophile like Oprah’s John of “God” cutting into me or mine as if he were a surgeon. I’d like to know that anyone that needs to actually do a surgery is competent and properly trained; and can in turn be sued into poverty if he screws up because he is not.
But the problem is that over the last 4 years these supposed paragons of ethics have in the main been mass-murdering bastards who lied and lied and lied to your face. Like good old Fauci and his buddies did. So… while I am not really keen on the local witch-doctor’s bone-throwing, the local GP dispensing covid genetic serums is certainly not higher on the totem pole as far as I am concerned, thank you very much. Which means what? It means that firstly I will try to educate myself better. Without the use of google, thanks, because mostly google is also a lie now. And secondly I will go only to people I know, whose work I can personally verify and see for myself by meeting their clients, whatever their field might be.
Denninger hasn’t realised that the entire idea of college is dead. Why would you participate in it other than for a very few and very select reasons, and even then, who knows for how long? Clearly homeschooling and learning your own trade is the way.
Here is another and more “total” point he makes towards the end:
I could go on for hours with this but I think you get the point. People don’t choose to have fewer or no children because “that’s how it is” as technology improves. Technological improvement adds choice but society molds opinions and incentives — for good or bad, like it or not.
People make the decision to not have children not because they’re “selfish” but rather on an entirely-rational basis because they look back at their childhood for the baseline and then forward in time and what they see is not improvement but impoverishment, not prosperity but privation, forced compliance and costs shoved upon them while the mandating parties are immune from consequence even when they’re later proved wrong or worse, someone is injured or killed, rampant illegal immigration and destruction of the common person’s standard of living without boundary along with a documented history of forcing the voluntary costs taken by others down their throats along with myriad scams across the board. When projected forward 20 years they recognize that any child they produce today is highly likely to be screwed blind and has a very low probability of having a good life, say much less a better one than they had.
Indeed if they judge that their childhood sucked they may well expect their kids’ childhoods to suck worse and nobody who actually cares about a child they’re contemplating bringing into the world voluntarily signs them up for that.
The people you want to bring children into the world are those who value children and have reason to believe their children will have at least as a good a life as they grew up with and enjoy now, with hope for even better, never mind a belief that their kids will have a fair shake and rational odds of success if they choose to apply themselves.
All of the policies of the last few decades of both government and industry have demonstrated beyond doubt that none of this is likely to be true and thus only those who don’t give a wet crap about their children’s future, or are so rich they believe they can guarantee it even if everyone else has their standard of living go straight to Hell, choose to reproduce.
About the only truly valid point he makes here is the very first one:
society molds opinions and incentives — for good or bad, like it or not.
That is essentially true. And as I have already pointed out, “society” in general today is very sick. That’s the problem. So what’s the solution? Simple: Firstly, realise, as I have been saying often and repeatedly since age 16, there is no such thing as “society”. It doesn’t exist. What you have is a large number of individuals and the large number probabilities that they produce. In reality you have a large number of in-DUH-viduals, which makes the illusion that such a thing as “society” exists quite realistic, but it doesn’t.
You have essentially zombie hordes. And zombie hordes are easily manipulated and pushed into this or that direction or over this or that cliff or fire-pit. So, as a first step don’t be a zombie. Don’t associate with them. Don’t surround yourself with them.
Secondly, begin the process of isolating yourself from zombies and building up relationships with other human beings. This in itself acts as a already quite a good “wall”, or defence from the zombie hordes, but over time, don’t be shy to build literal walls to keep the zombies out of your areas. And the more humans you have in your community that help to built them, the better.
Thirdly, do not let zombies in at any time. Exclude them and exclude anyone who allows them in the village. This sounds harsh, but is basic survival and also basic game theory. St. Benedict “won” precisely because of this point. He allowed in only Catholic monks that had dedicated themselves not only to Catholicism, but his even stricter rules added to the already rather strict rules for Catholic monks. That unwavering zealotry kept the monasteries pure and therefore effective. A bunch of men who spend all their time, praying, meditating on scripture, and working, will soon produce extremely functional communities. And in fact monasteries became wealthy, for they had a surfeit of food or other things they made, so that they became rich enough they became favourite places for the Vikings to raid. So the Catholic monks co-opted the Vikings too, and now Catholicism also added fearsome, pious warrior types to their ranks, alongside thoughtful, intellectual, pious, and studious ones.
If you refuse to allow any people into your midst that don’t subscribe to your general tribe’s zeitgeist (ideas, religion, world-view), then you cannot be corrupted, And over time, your converting of others increases your number. This is basic game theory and works in the natural world as it does in the abstract one of math. It works because it is again based on the principle of large numbers. A persistent, unexpected, but resilient statistical anomaly, becomes its own statistical normality.
Alongside with not rejecting “society” or if you prefer, forming your own, Denninger is (typical for a boomer) preoccupied with the hypothetical suffering of hypothetical children.
Well, guess what, the very vast majority of human beings, including the ones with really terrible lives, still prefer existing to not existing. We know this because aside from the odd cult, or recently mutilated confused teenager that has been indoctrinated into the child abuse ideology of transgenderism, most human beings don’t commit suicide. So, bad as it might be, life still seems to have the win over non-life. Pretty much for everyone. I know for a fact that every one of my children prefers to be here than not having existed. And it is that way for most people. So suck it up buttercup. Remember how I told you life is hard and everyone suffers? It’s true. But it still beats being dead or non-existent by a couple of light years, never mind country miles.
Finally he tries to justify his own weakness, cowardice and fear by appealing to your own sense of concern for your (hypothetical) children. In a most ridiculous manner if you have followed the discussion up to here; that is, by telling you if you really cared about your children, you wouldn’t have them, because they might suffer.
No Karl, no. They absolutely will suffer. And they will cry and feel pain and heartbreak. And then they will dust themselves off, get up and carry on. And make children of their own and if they need to fight off some evil bastards in the future that I didn’t manage to get to myself before I dropped dead, well, so be it, they will have got as much as they can from me in terms of learning how to do that.
Because guess what, you fragile and egomaniacal boomer, my grandparents went through two world wars, massive economic depression and yes, even lack of food. And they made children too. Otherwise I would not be here. And my children wouldn’t be here. And if I had continued believing the horse-shit your generation still shovels around a bit longer than I did, I might not have had any children at all. Instead now I have five of them. And my own daughter, off her own ideas, with no prompting from me on the matter, because she’s still young for me to discuss such things with her in any detail or seriousness, already has it as a pretty solid idea that she wants to have two children by her mid twenties. And if her babysitting of her younger siblings is anything to go by, she probably will, and be a really good mother at it too. And the smaller ones love each other even as they fight and argue and then play and hug a few minutes later.
Because what you missed Karl, in your ranting and raving at the injustices of the world, is the simple fact that yes, things are bad. And yes they could be better, and yes there is wild evil about, but… on one level or another, it has always been this way. Do you think the Spartans and Athenians about to be wiped out by the Persians had an easier life than you do? Or me?
And they would have been wiped out if it weren’t for a “crazy” guy who took his personal bodyguard to the Hot Gates and held off perhaps up to a million Persians for three or four days.
You Karl, with your fears and your impotent rage, ultimately, are more like a whiny, mostly fake, mostly gay Athenian. Me and mine are more like the Spartans that went with Leonidas. And yes, I include my wife and children in that, because she can keep up with me, which is rare and courageous beyond most women, well-beyond certainly all the normies out there worrying about their pedicure and whether they can land a guy with a six or seven figure salary if they just slut it up enough. And my children are on the same path, which can already be seen by the steps they take and the way they relate to the world and themselves in it.
And am I a lone voice in the wind? No. Not by a long shot.
Every sedevacantist family I know has multiple children, at least 4, and counting. And even we Sedevacantists are not even the only ones.
The current Mrs. USA for 2023 has 7 children and lives on a ranch. This is what she said at the finals for her beauty contest:
“When have you felt the most empowered?”
Mrs America 2023: “I have felt this feeling seven times now as I bring these sacred souls to the earth… after I hold that newborn baby in my arms. The feeling of motherhood…is the most empowering feeling I have ever felt.
So go on Karl, invent all the reasons why no one can have multiple children and then whine and whine and whine about it. Meanwhile, Catholics over two millennia created the best civilised nations on Earth by going precisely against every “point” you made, and under conditions that were almost certainly harder than any most people face today. Especially if you remove the conditions created by our own deficient reasoning, Karl.
Reasoning like yours is the real problem. The rest, human beings have dealt with successfully for millennia. And it won’t be the insipid Bill Gates and Klaus Schwabs of the world that will stop me and mine from being here another now and in the future too, a few millennia from now.
Came across this and I wanted to point out a rather profound point it shows about human neurology and identity.
It sounds silly and funny at first, but precisely because it is so obviously absurd, it best highlights exactly how the human brain functions for most humans. As well as why it is so very difficult for people to let go of completely wrong ideas about themselves above all, but also of life in general, beliefs they associate with their own persona and so on.
The seemingly absurd idea that trying some cheese causes such emotional and psychological angst to this guy makes it clear that he’s obviously mistaken about the importance of cheese in general and almost certainly of cheese specifically as it refers to him. Eat the cheese, don’t eat the cheese, he’ll be fine. Barring some exotic allergy that will kill him the minute he tries cheese that is. HA! See? Made you doubt it too now.
Ha, ha, silly guy, right? Cheese. So funny.
Now do Protestantism. It’s at least as retarded, but look at all you Protties reading this now suddenly getting a thin line where your mouth used to be and furrowed brows of disapproval.
The reason this guy is so hung up on cheese is most likely because all the old traditional things people used to fight and die over have been corrupted to a degree whereby, the average boomer now considers the most trivial and idiotic things as being fundamental aspects of his personality. Like not eating cheese. The alternative is considering almost NOTHING as being fundamental to your personality, which is why there is a heavy uptick in teenagers pretending to be the opposite sex, or taking part in orgies, or believing the Earth is flat, and the Moon is made of cheese.
Not only are the traditions corrupted and in many cases destroyed, but the very tools of basic logic and basic reasoning have been intentionally kept from these people. They literally do NOT have the mental ability to reason their way into a reasonable position. They are, in effect, magical thinkers. Cargo cultists to Nth degree.
Leaving aside for a moment the religious or other ideologies, and focussing purely on the neurological element, the reality is that all humans have an idea, a representation of themselves in their own head. Depending on what that idea is composed of, how those beliefs came about and how attached one is to them, changing can be nigh on impossible.
I was lucky that at an early age I put it into my head that anything any one human being on Earth could do, was possible, so if I applied myself, it was likely I too could do it eventually. I also had persistence and never giving up drilled into me and reinforced by myself and my own choices throughout my life, and still do. Even so, certain patterns and behaviours that I felt were a fundamental part of who I was were very difficult for me to break out too. Part of why I learnt to do deep hypnosis was precisely so I could delve into my own psyche at the deepest level I could. And before I hypnotised anyone else, I put myself into trances that lasted up to a couple or more hours regularly. In this manner I did at first shift, then crack, then removed beliefs about who I was that were not ideal for me. I wrote briefly about this in Reclaiming the Catholic Church, but the point is that we are NOT our beliefs about who we are. We have an infinitely larger potential and amplitude of behaviour and personality colouring.
Martial arts can change this but it usually takes years. So does any endeavour indulged in almost fanatically for a couple of decades, but aside from controlled LSD trips under clinical settings, the fastest way I know to do this is with Hypnosis. After you have changed a few really core (but erroneous) beliefs about your of identity, and if you have the requisite faculties to do so, you can learn to change other patterns. I have done it several times throughout my life, and the longest and hardest pattern to break was the one I described in RTCC as erroneous loyalty.
The problem, of course, is not loyalty, which is a virtue, but loyalty to the erroneous concept, idea or person. If you have “being loyal” as one of your core beliefs about yourself, it becomes very difficult to see the errors, evil, or even outright lies and negative values that you don’t share, with your guru, your religion, your family, friends or whatever. It took a long time for me to realise that being objective and letting go of people or thoughts that were ultimately negative was the correct action to take, and was NOT a negative reflection of me or of my being “disloyal”. Since then I have had ample occasion to not only confirm that changing that aspect of myself was the intelligent, correct and good thing to do, but also to confirm that I am indeed, loyal unto death when it is for the right reason. In short, it was a drastic improvement not just for me, but in general, in terms of how I related to the world.
If you take any of the important things, like your belief in your religion, your beliefs about loyalty, love, kindness, and what part or aspect of these you consider to be core parts of who you are, it will feel absolutely horrifically difficult and wrong to change any of them. And yet, many of these patterns are probably not serving you best.
No one sane born in a neutral, objective, honest household would become a Muslim or a Jew, since both religion permit sex with underage children and don’t consider sex with toddlers to be a crime.
Similarly, no one capable of doing basic logic can possibly assume that Protestantism is any kind of thing other than a total perversion of Christianity. And with a little more digging, no one sane could possibly mistake the Novus Ordo Impostors for actual Catholic Clergy.
No more than anyone would mistake 6’2″ me for an African pigmy.
But you have no skin in the personality of seeing me as my 6’2″ self, so you see me as what I am, not as a 4′ pigmy.
You might dislike me, you might be insulted by the undeniable facts about your fake “Christianity” I point out to you, and you will in at least some cases, choose to die rather than admit your error. Not because you are especially brave, but because changing such a core aspect of who you think you are, feels to you, like a fate, even worse than death. Death of the ego feels, to the human brain, very much like impending and undignified death at that. So, truly worse than just mere death. And as a result your brain will fight back with everything it has. Which is quite a lot since the Sub and Unconscious together form at least 90% of your brain by my reckoning.
The thing is, if you consider the level of lies you have noted in the last 4 years, then begin to realise that your ENTIRE LIFE you have been exposed to lies just as pervasive, just as big, just as pernicious, as the ones you have noted more recently, what do you think the odds are that all your core beliefs about yourself that you hold dear are true, and objective, and good and correct? Yup. Pretty much zero.
Problem is, if you can’t do at least rudimentary logic, you’re never going to learn how to get out of the erroneous thoughts you think are you.
Usually people who DO change change only as a result of long and determined effort over a long time, or if and when a big Significant Emotional Event (SEE) happens to them. The Alcoholic kills a kid in his car and never touches alcohol again. The drug addict sees himself in the mirror and something triggers deep in his limbic brain and he stops being an addict. The tough cop that just “get the job done” quits his job, takes time out, realises how all the crap he has seen has hurt him, and takes up landscaping as his next job because it helps him feel good.
A few people do it consciously by themselves by learning hypnosis and also just working obsessively on themselves, but these are a TINY minority.
And remember, you are NOT your personality. You are NOT what or who you think about yourself. Those things, in a great many cases, are almost just like persistent clothing in a video game. You can change the colour and shape of your clothes, just like you can change the type of personality you want to have.
Poor Pietro
I watch and listen, on and off, when I have some spare time, to the videos of Pietro Bisanti, they are in Italian so this will not apply to too many people in terms of those bilingual enough to see them for themselves. But Mr. Bisanti does speak and I am sure reads English quite well, so I will be sending him a link.
A quick summary before I criticise the man, and I think he is intelligent enough to realise that unlike some idiots he recently lambasted (rightly) for being Internet drama queens/grifters and various species of retards, I do so, not with the intent to reduce him in any way, but, since he is a let’s say semi-public persona, being on the internet of his own volition, and dispenses general advice and his opinions of life, the universe and everything, I think it’s fair for me to comment on them when I think he is doing a MASSIVE error and thereby also leading others astray. Fair enough that most who listen to him don’t listen to me and we do so in different languages, but you never know, and in any case, the issue is a global one that I recently addressed with respect to Karl Denninger on this very blog, so, although Bisanti is GenX and not a boomer, he is not going to be immune to a similar beam of light on him, highlighting a more typically Millennial disease, which, however, also afflicts a few GenXers.
Bisanti was an ex-Carabinieri (Italian Military Police) who became Maresciallo (usually the head guy at a station as far as I know) and worked as a Carabiniere for over 20 years. Today he works as a legal consultant and “igenista” which is, at my rough understanding, a guy who preoccupies himself with how different foods and activities and so on affects your health, including mental health, and who looks at health in general. He admits he made several errors over his journey in this field, being a vegan and a fruitarian at different times, which he states were both mistakes. He also suffered the usual “vaccines” for military service, but as far as I know refused all the covid nonsense.
I can’t really comment on his food-related stuff, as I am generally ignorant of it and I also tend to be supremely uninterested in that stuff since I can’t figure out the truth of various statements without doing my own research and I think it would take years of study and testing to know with any precision. Plus, I think each person is a little different, so, in my 54 years on this Earth I figured out what works for me mostly, and I try to stay within certain parameters and as I age I try to be a bit more careful. My personal favourite would be to eat mostly fish and other generally white meat that is healthy and natural with the occasional steak and some salads and some fruit and so on, otherwise I avoid grains and generally that’s about it, but I am not against the odd drink, or even, once in a blue moon, a cigar.
So my commentary has nothing to do with his primary chosen career, in which he gives seminars around Italy.
No, my commentary today comes only as a result of noting over the last year or two, that when Mr. Bisanti talks about women, relationships, marriage and children, his view can essentially be summarised as mostly negative.
Now, unlike a lot of the incels, would-be pagans, and MGTOW chronic masturbators, I don’t think Bisanti has or would have any real issues to get with women for a sexual relationship. He’s confident and fairly level-headed, has a generally healthy approach to reality as far as I can tell (except in this area I am going to gently rake him over the coals for) and I am sure there would be no shortage of female companionship if he actively searched for it. And yet…
Let me first point out, in no specific order, some of the comments he made that are so wrong that it caused me to think to write this post, in the (vain I am sure) hope he maybe takes a step back and reconsiders a few things and thereby also, I sincerely hope, improve his life, as well as perhaps give better general advice on the topic to his many followers. After each point, I will also critique as relevant. This should give a fairly comprehensive perspective of the man and his views, after which I can present my conclusions.
Now… having lived in Africa for some 25 years, I can say that on hearing this comment of his I actually burst out laughing. Because I would bet you any amount of money that this fantasy place and tribe, is a pure myth invented by the producers of the ridiculous documentary. That is not to say that there aren’t rides or people in Africa that copulate with each other more or less with the same kind of abandon than a troop of bonobos. In fact, generally, in Africa this is not uncommon. But if you think that all the consequent jealousies, bitterness, and yes, assaults, violence and murder don’t go hand in hand with such practices, well, then, like our Mr. Bisanti, I can summarise your view as: “Tell me you have never been to Africa and don’t know a damned thing about it or its people, without telling me…” And yes I know Africa is vast and has many people and many tribes of Africans on it. And my statement remains unchanged. But to give you a perspective, think of the average hippie commune, be it in Europe or America, where it was Caucasians that tried this sort of “free love” experiment and then look at the results. It’s much the same. With quite a lot less murder, generally speaking, but really in no way a recipe for happiness.
Now, we all have our trauma, I am sure, and I am the first to admit that as a general rule the average Italian woman, compared to other nationalities I am familiar with, are more of a clingy, whiny, pain in the ass, but as always, that is a generalisation. And there are Italian women too that are far from it, as always, you gotta know what you want and what you’re getting into. But in all the relationships I had no woman ever “used up all my time” and sure as death and taxes, no woman I lived with “made all the rules”. Mostly because the very idea is absurd as far as I am concerned. The only “rules” any adult normal person should need are the basic ones of civilised behaviour towards each other and then whatever quirks you may have you need to adjust for each other. As for any woman not letting me pursue my interests, again, I am wondering what kind of women the man got with, or maybe I am wrong and he is a kind of incel. I just can’t fathom it.
I pursued things I wanted to do without that even ever being an issue. I trained in martial arts most of my life and pursued plenty of other things, I wrote books, scuba dived, learn and practiced hypnosis, travelled a whole bunch, enjoyed target shooting, hunting, and probably a dozen other things I was interested in and did for some time that I am just not even remembering right now. And while relationships that go wrong can be the source of the worst pain you may ever feel (yes, I am a survivor, please donate generously) they also represent the source of the best joy one can ever feel too. The fact that Bisanti seems to think the negatives outweigh the positives, does give me several clues about him and/or his life.
Here I need to take a little pause to try to understand if the man even has the same definition I have for happiness, or if he has the same one that 19 year old bubble-heads on tik-tok have for it. So let me explain my definition. Happiness was one of those words that I asked myself if I knew what it was and remained mute to myself. Quite a bit like love. For a long time, I would think: “Am I happy?” And not really know how to answer that. Similarly, I’d meet or be with a girl, that I found interesting, or attractive, or sexy, and I’d ask myself “Is this love?” And again remain mute to the reply. I didn’t know.
Perhaps my own level of self-awareness is well beyond that of normal people, it’s possible, but I recall the very first time I realised what happiness was. I was 26 and driving a beat up old VW Golf and wherever I was headed I was contemplating this sensation that I had achieved a couple of times when doing karate kata repeatedly and non-stop, to the point that I could barely lift my arms and legs anymore, then, breaking through the exhaustion barrier, I got a sensation like a kind of light inside my head and then I could carry on a lot longer and nothing felt heavy anymore. It was like being a little in a dream but fully focussed and calm and the movements just came naturally. I knew about breaking through that wall of resistance from swimming years earlier, but the experience when doing kata was markedly different. In swimming I would just become like a kind of human robot, just moving, moving, moving, tumble, twist, turn, push off, moving, moving and so on, length after length of the pool. But this brightness, this kind of light in the middle of my head, felt different and it was while driving in my beat up blue and white VW that I realised “Oh! that’s what happiness is!” Finally I knew this word. And that is what I think objective happiness is like. It is a kind of unexpected consequence of something you do, you need to do, you want to do, you should do, you must do, duty means you do it, desire means you do it, all of the above. And eventually, if you do it well enough and deep enough, and hard enough, you get this pervasive sensation of happiness.
Yes, yes, I realise how sexual the above description sounds, and many women in my past no doubt recognise the issue. You’re all welcome.
But seriously, the point is that happiness is not about you getting everything you want on a silver platter with no effort. That’s not happiness. Nor is it the whine of the tik-tokker that wants the white knight with a Ferrari and the millions who is sensitive but also takes charge and who loves hearing her talk about the mindless minutia of her day.
Conclusions
In short, Mr. Bisanti probably has a somewhat limited perspective on the women of the world, being mostly familiar with Italian ones. Perhaps his specific brand of personality attracts especially clingy and/or “we must be serious about the relationship by doing x y and z” types (something I suspect, as he tends to be a pretty intense and decisive guy, so maybe a woman naturally thinks she should be too, so as to keep up with him, when usually, the opposite is more true).
Perhaps he’s just had a run of bad luck in his relationships. And undoubtedly, he also has bought into the boomer rhetoric of “free love”, which I understand, I had a somewhat similar approach to sex and women for some years after I decided that obviously I wasn’t cut out for long term relationships since the two major ones I had had had failed and the next two did too in a much shorter time period. After that, as soon as a woman irritated me I nexted her, and I did that for a long while. But then I realised that way of living was really ultimately quite unsatisfying. Perhaps Bisanti hasn’t quite reached that point yet, even though he is 48. On the other hand, all the Boomer nonsense people of his and my generation were marinated in, does tend to retard the process of realising certain things, especially about relationships.
He mentions however that he is the third of 11 children. Which mystifies me even more with his view of children. And says that at his mother’s house he never feels harassed, people talk if they want to, don’t if they don’t want to and everyone is chilled. Well, why should it be any different in your own house with a woman you choose to be with?
Maybe he just hasn’t found the right one? But I doubt it. I think that despite Mr. Bisanti being moderately intelligent and decently in touch with reality as it is, including on many aspects that it is quite hard for many people to realise, never mind speak openly about, be it the covid lies, immigration, crime and justice and so on, the man has been embittered.
I think he has let whatever negative crap he saw or sees daily affect him in a terribly sad way. And this is almost certainly the result of Mr. Bisanti being a reasonable man.
Luckily I was never afflicted by this pernicious issue of being a reasonable man. As I think Mark Twain said (I may be wrong), reasonable men see the world as it is and adapt to it. Unreasonable men see the world as it is and unreasonably expect it to adapt to them. So all human progress, is the result of unreasonable men. Which, in essence, is basically true. Sadly, most unreasonable men are also usually neuroatypical, and we polite, mild-mannered, Aspergers types are heavily outnumbered by the psychotic narcissists. But there it is.
And sure, life can always throw you absolutely unexpected and vile curve-balls; but buddy, Pietro, if you expect anything of worth to just stumble into your lap and “make you happy” you seriously have it wrong.
And if you expect your children to be a constant source of joyous entertainment, again, you are probably prancing in meadows looking for fucking unicorns too, but that’s not the point. Because even when at 3 am, covered in baby projectile vomit, all in your bed, and a leaky diarrhoea-filled nappy is dribbling all over you as you try to get the little bundle of screaming snot to a dry spot to clean him off, when you look into the face of that little dude with snot-running down his face, hiccuping and tear-filled, you can only feel love and the sensation that you wish you had all his troubles so he’d feel better. And buddy, no amount of tik-tok “happiness” or dozens of nymphomaniac sluts with model looks trying to drain you dry even begins to compare.
And that’s the bad days. The good days are truly awesome. You’re basically watching a sacred soul grow and learn and evolve in this world and you somehow had a part in making that happen and you will continue to do so until you drop dead yourself. And if I have any say in it, you’ll still look over them even after your body here has rotted away to dust.
You’re thinking too small Pietro.
You’re missing out on what really matters.
You’ve been afflicted by the Italian sadness. A thing I noted even as a teenager when I came here on holiday. Oppressed and squished economically and mentally and in so many other ways, the mind, the intellect, the imagination, the soul, of the average Italian was so limited. So incapable of imagining bigger and better things and then doing insane stuff to make them happen. Mind you it is not limited to Italy, I recall at age 16 when I was new in the UK and at school I asked one of the guys there what his life dreams were, the reply I got was:
Oh I’d like to just get married, and have like… two cars, a couple of kids, a nice house…
I looked at him incredulously and said:
“Man, that’s what happens if you just sit on your ass and do nothing. Don’t you want to sail the world in a 70 foot trimaran with an all female crew? Drive a Ferrari, something?!”
I’ve never forgotten his reply, and to this day it sends shiver of mediocrity down my spine: “Oh,” he said, “that only happens in the movies.”
I replied:”For you, with that attitude, that’s definitely the case.”
Now, as it happens I have not sailed the world in a 70 foot trimaran with an all female crew. Mostly because to get that trimaran is a lot of really hard work, and so is sailing really, and it really was much easier to experience the all-female crew on dry land one at a time (well, not at the same time anyway), and travel the world by aeroplane. And I did a bunch of other stuff and saw and experienced things that even most super-rich people who never have to work haven’t seen or experienced, and certainly not the way I did.
Sure, my life has had extremely deep pits of pain and heartache, but so what? I have experienced peaks of ecstasy, human intimacy, and love that few men get to experience in their life. I don’t really regret any of it. A life well-lived is indeed, and adventure. And you know what they say about adventures: They make great stories after you’ve survived them.
If you survive them.
So, my sincere wish for Mr. Bisanti, and all those like him, is to shake your fossilised little heart and brains up. Consider why you have such a dismal view of relationships. I am certain I have been through far worse heartache as a result of women than Mr. Bisanti ever has, or is likely to, and yet I never felt as negative and downcast about the concept of living with one woman for the rest of my days, and making children with her, as poor Pietro is.
In the last video I saw, here, about 7 minutes in, he states that those people who would criticise him and try to present their marriage as blissful paradise are liars, who might even lie to others or themselves, but can’t fool him.
Well, man, you’re just plain wrong. No marriage is all bliss and tik-tok “happiness”. None. Also, you can’t find any Unicorns or Pegasi. I know, the Pegasi thing especially is a cruel lie, but then I think it comes from Islam, so what do you expect. But I guarantee you man, some marriages absolutely can be like karate kata happiness. If you work hard enough and pour sweat and tears and blood out of you enough and you picked the right one, nothing compares. Really. Nothing does.
I wish you a better view of things Mr. Bisanti.
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By G | 8 November 2023 | Posted in Increasing Happiness, Relationships, Social Commentary