Archive for May 2023

Remember when I said that the bioweapon was probably genetically targetted?

Well, I wasn’t just guessing when I wrote this post, and neither are the Chinese or the Russians.

It’s also quite interesting which ethnicities are specifically mentioned in the tweet.

Yes, all the names mentioned are of Jews

But I am sure that’s it’s just a Cohencidence.

Probably nothing to do with the passages in the Talmud that says it’s perfectly acceptable and no sin at all to rape children under the age of 3.

The video below is only a couple of minutes long. Look at the way the Zyklons are trying to shut the prof down when he shows the links between Anarchists (antifa types), homosexuality, and pedophiles. Using unassailable facts, no less.

Maybe one in five Zyklons really is not just LGBT, but actually is a pedophile?

What say you Zyklons?

The Gay is Rising?

So… supposedly, this is what’s happening in AmeriKa

Supposedly, one in five Zyklons is some kind of sexual deviant.

I am sure the poll is completely fair and reliable like all other mainstream media news. But you Zyklons out there… what say you?

Also… from memory, GenX and every generation before that was hovering at between 0.5% to 1.5% across the entire sexual deviant spectrum, certainly until the late 90s, on this graph it’s double that or more. Again, I am sure it’s all perfectly statistically correct and true… as long as you also believe that Epstein killed himself.

Still, one wonders how the USA plans to continue controlling the rest of the planet, I think they took that “screw everybody” a bit literally and thing that strap-ons and lube are the way forward for global domination.

I don’t know, I mean it’s just my opinion, but I think the Russians, Chinese, the whole of Africa and large chunks of South America, as well as pockets of hold-outs all over Europe might just disagree a little bit.

They are the Enemy Within

A YouTube commenter starts to understand:

Gabriel Garcìa Moreno

As I’m sure you’ve realized by now, Tay Tay Marshall is no intellectual behemoth. When he saw your superchat I’m almost certain he understood that he couldn’t properly answer it. I’ve come to the conclusion that Tay Tay is an intellectual lightweight and quite likely a grifter. Man, I want to like Vigano. I pay attention to his publications and videos and have noticed that he often calls out Freemasonry and Bergoglio’s shenanigans but you’re right, at this point he must put down his foot and declare every so called Pope from John XXIII to Bergoglio a heretic and an anti-pope. God bless you. Christus Vincit! Christus Regnant! Christus Imperat!

Adam Piggott, recently wrote a blog post about the fake “priest”, the Satan-worshipping Ripperger.

Adam’s piece is a very polite and well-written one, filled with human charity and honesty. He ended it thusly:

Fr Ripperger is wrong. So I will pray for him as I continue to pray for all of the clergy who have eyes but cannot see, who have ears but cannot hear.

And of course, this makes me want to smack Adam upside the head repeatedly. “Bad Catholic! Bad!” I want to say to him, with each blow.

And I may get to do it, as I think he will come to visit soon.

Yes, yes, I know, I am the “EEEEBBILL” Kurgan, without mercy, et-cetera, et-cetera…

But let me repeat what I have been saying now for about 5 years:

  1. That fake “priest” is not to be addressed as “Father”, as that is an honorific to be used for Catholic Priests. Ripperger is not Catholic, and certainly not a priest (except perhaps of Moloch, but that’s neither here nor there). He is a knowing Satanist, yes, he is, because he is perfectly aware that Vatican II is heretical, that Roncalli was a Freemason and that the Vatican is currently filled with Freemason pedophiles, homosexual and so on. Freemasons are Satan-worshippers, and in essence, so is anyone trying to destroy the Catholic Church; which EVERY fake “cleric” of the Novus Orco is doing, directly and openly, or implicitly and subterfugeously, but in any case, they are.
  2. At BEST, he is a heretic, because in my opinion he is a never-was-catholic. He certainly was never validly ordained, nor has he ever done anything other than perform unholy sacrilegious, blasphemous, fake masses that mock our Lord. So in my opinion, he is actually an active Satanist and outright enemy of the Church, and hence God; as are ALL the fake “clergy” of the Novus Orco.

Now, if he is a Heretic, remember, as a Catholic, the correct way to behave towards him is as defined, in the infallible, ex-cathedra, on faith and morals pronouncement (which means it will remain true for all eternity) of Pope Paul the IV in his Papal Bull of the 15th of February 1559, Cum Ex Apostolato Officio, which states:

(iii) that all such individuals also shall be held, treated and reputed as such by everyone, of whatsoever status, grade, order, condition or pre-eminence he may be and whatsoever excellence may be his, even Episcopal, Archiepiscopal, Patriarchal and Primatial or other greater Ecclesiastical dignity and even the honour of the Cardinalate, or secular, even the authority of Count, Baron, Marquis, Duke, King or Emperor, and as such must be avoided and must be deprived of the sympathy of all natural kindess.

See that Adam?! DEPRIVED OF THE SYMPATHY OF ALL NATURAL KINDNESS.

So no.

The impostor, fake “priest” Satanic-inspired Ripperger is not “wrong”. He is intentionally trying to send souls to Hell. It’s not a mistake, and no Catholic is to act towards him as if it was, nor give him “the benefit of the doubt”. Because AT BEST, he is a heretic. And that is the RULE of how you treat a heretic.

Personally I think he is an active Satanist and he is intentionally trying to send souls to Hell, so I’m gonna have even less sympathy or kindness for him than I do a heretic. As far as I am concerned he is an active mass-murderer of souls. And that is what EVERY Novus Orco fake “priest” or “Bishop” is.

And the only prayers I would have for such creatures, would be that his master comes to claim him as soon as possible and rids us of his presence on this Earth.

A bit intense, Kurgan!

You say what? Well, no. Not at all. Not if you actually BELIEVE in Catholicism. Not if you are actually Catholic, and follow the Catholic rules.

What most decent human beings REALLY struggle with is to even begin to understand the level of deception and evil of the impostors. Just like they are unable to conceive of the kind of mentality that forces little children, along with their parents, to take a genetic serum that will destroy their health and kill them in a few years.

They KNOW what they are doing. They RELY on your good nature, while they pretend to be “on your side” whether that is, be it “traditionalism”, or “anti-woke”, or “republican”, or “conservative”, or whatever, but they are in reality worse than an enemy charging your home with a uniform on and a machine pistol. That guy is OBVIOUSLY your enemy. You can SEE him coming!

But the snake in your own trench, that is the real vicious enemy, that’s a far more dangerous creature. The gatekeepers are NOT your friends.

Besides, if you have read my book Reclaiming the Catholic Church, you would know, that this is precisely the modus operandi of the Carbonari/Freemasons/illuminati. The permanent instruction to the Alta Vendita (Carbonari) were found and the Pope at the time promulgated these documents to warn Catholics, and Christianity in general. And they specifically state that they are to always play both sides of the coin. They are to infiltrate the deepest and most cherished places by PRETENDING to be good men of kind and pious natures. While all the while secretly subverting, degrading, and all while gaining trust and influence. They are, remember always, servants of the Prince of Lies!

What do you think they are going to do? Play fair?

Now, I get it, you think it’s hard to be as “jaded” as I am, but you know what, it’s not true. The hardest part about seeing the truth of this situation is merely that most people are simply too good to believe how corrupt, underhanded and downright evil the impostors and gatekeepers are.

Now, I do struggle with the idea that Adam, an Australian, could ever be a decent guy, I mean… he’s Australian, come on. So that couldn’t possibly be it. That an Australian is too nice to see things as they are… absurd; obviously.

I put it down to his being too dim.

It’s true, I have a lot of dim friends. It gives me an excuse to smack them upside the head, you see. Look. We all need a hobby, don’t judge me. Besides, Kurgan head-smackings have been clinically proven to increase IQ by at least 10 to 15 points. And sometimes all the way up to 30 points, that’s 2 whole standard deviations. Sometimes they improves your looks too. At least if you have a face like Adam’s anyway.

So learn, people: ANY Novus Orco is NOT a Catholic, NOT your friend, and NOT doing or saying ANYTHING GOOD.

It’s all an act, or at best criminal negligence. Do you care which? Does it matter? Sure, it might… to God! Who is the ONLY one that can ever truly know the difference in a man’s heart. But to you and me? No. No it does not matter at all. If it walks like a heretic, talks like a heretic, preaches like a heretic, and acts like a heretic… well… guess what:

It’s your duty to treat him like a heretic!

Putin exchanges a pawn for a knight

So, the cocaine dwarf-clown has now agreed to meet with South African president Cyril Ramaphosa, who will also meet with Putin separately to lay out a peace plan.

Cocaine dwarf knows nowhere in Ukraine is safe for him now, but the real move here is that Putin is putting South Africa on the map, and by extension, all of Africa, much of which is already in Chinese hands. He’s giving the traditional global underdog a platform to be seen as the global partner that brought about peace (or is trying to). Cementing another huge block for BRICS.

And just to be sure no major African nation is slighted:

The leaders of Zambia, Senegal, Congo, Uganda and Egypt plan to join Mr Ramaphosa on the mission, the president said. He added that Mr Putin and Mr Zelensky gave him the go-ahead to ‘commence the preparations’.

The (((American))) deep state might be going into a hissy fit next.

No comment required

Oh I am so hurt…

Turns out Blue Bloods has now finally crossed over from the science fiction of honest cops, uncorrupt bureaucrats, honour before politics and career straight into the start of our own timeline.

Episode 22 of season 4, the DA Amanda, finally catches a whole host of high ranking politicos, judges and so on ramming escorts, all on tape, and Erin, her number 2 rats her out for having ran the operation for 4 months instead of one.

So, in short, she covers up massive hypocrisy and corruption over a technicality.

Then on episode 2 of season 5 Tom Selleck, playing the Police Commissioner, supposedly a devout “Catholic” comes out and says the Church is behind the times on faggotry… but hey… he misses the Latin Mass.

So, pushing the fake “Catholic” Novus Orco line on faggotry. There was, of course, no need for him to do that. All he had to say was that he’s a devout Catholic, and every sinner, including him, has his crosses to bear. But no… and at the end, of course, the nun too turns out to be a lesbian. Again, pushing things that are dogmatically against teachings of the Catholic Church.

Oh well, it was a pretty good run of old time boomer utopia while it lasted.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I was in any way invested in the program in terms of morality or content or narrative. It was just nice to have total mental bubblegum, a fake, harmless story of bad guys and good guys as it was in the comic books of my childhood.

Oh well.

Back to lashing things down. There’s supposed to be a storm tomorrow that happens less than once in 30 years.

I’m curious to see what it will be like.

Hollywood Fame and Glory

I can prove quite conclusively to you, within about an hour or two, less if you are a bit less brainwashed, and if you can do basic math, that the lives of the so-called “rich and famous” are a complete and utter pit of despair.

All you need to do is browse CDAN (Crazy Days and Nights) and scroll down the blog, reading the entries. If after about an hour or so of doing that and doing a quick mental guesstimate of the number of glitterati there are in the pool from which that litany of despair is taken, you will soon realise that the toll one needs to pay to enter that club is —literally— at minimum, a piece of your soul, and in many, even most cases, the entirety of it.

What CDAN does, above all, in my opinion, is list very clearly, the resulting human wreckage that a life dedicated to hedonistic materialism produces.

Most of those people are so far gone, so utterly lost, that a homeless guy who is not a drug-addict has a better shot at making a happy life for himself.

I knew this at a relatively young age, and then confirmed it when I was offered certain “tickets” to do with being involved in a tv documentary-series at various points and/or a film, both based on my book The Face on Mars. I was 26 at the time and even before these “offers” came in, I had already seen the effect of being an author with books on the shelves of the local bookshops had on “friends” and acquaintances.

The interviews I did for television and radio were absolutely geared to turn the whole thing into clickbait, and since I’m a pretty quick study and I realised the interviewer was trying to take the approach of letting me run my mouth to then edit things in some tinfoil hat fashion, I very quickly reverted to one word answers and mini-sound bytes. the result was they could not make me sound crazy, so they did what a friend of mine at the time suggested they would do, jokingly.

I explained to him the interview was a hit piece and they would try hard to make me look insane, and he laughed and said, “yeah they may morph you into an alien on TV! ha, ha, ha.”

Well, that is exactly what they did, I kid you not. When the interview aired, at one point they fade my face out and gradually faded a gray alien head over it. My friend and I couldn’t believe it and laughed ourself to tears. I was 26 and I didn’t care for these people or their lies.

An outfit that was supposed to do a 13 part documentary had only to produce an outline of the 13 part documentary, I had already lined up an investor for them and this was all they wanted. They had 2 months to do it. They produced 2 pages of incoherent A4 where they had also screwed up the major premise. I advised the investor to not deal with these clowns.

Graham Hancock plagiarised large parts of the book as well as its main concept and still got the basic premise wrong. It’s like… steal Ferrari’s plans for a fast engine and still build a crappy Mini Morris one. They aren’t even good thieves. The guy who wrote the original comics on which the film The Matrix is based more than a little, will tell you the same thing.

Elvis didn’t write his songs, though I like how he sings them, and so do many others. Everything in the entertainment world is basically a lie. And usually also very gay; when it’s not also pedophile infested.

Graham Hancock certainly made a lot more money than I ever will from my work, with “his” stolen, then half-assed-executed ideas. And sure, that can irk a person somewhat, but you know what, when I confronted him face to face on it in Cape Town, his demeanour was the one of an apologetic, scared, cardboard-cut-out of a “man”. He apologised, blamed his ghost-writers and “complimented” me on my astonishing and brilliant work. He was a middle-aged journalist of supposed world-renowned fame, I was I think 27 at the time, had little or no money and did karate on an almost daily basis and worked as an armed bodyguard/security specialist and sold computers now and then when I could.

And I wouldn’t have traded his life for mine for any amount of money on the planet. I could then, and I still can now, look in the mirror and know that whatever errors I made in life, they were honest ones, and that despite all my faults, and they are many, I, at least, did not become whatever subspecies of cowardly, underhanded, sneaky, slithering animal people like that become. My brother and others were more enraged than I ever was by such occurrences. Which makes sense. They saw only the surface loss of what generally gets perceived as money, fame, and glory.

But I got to see the people that supposedly had or created this money, fame and glory. And this is what I saw, time and again:

The fame was a net negative. People wanted to be with you, whether as friends or sex partners, based on your fame. They had no idea, who you are, nor cared. the scary thing about this was that it wasn’t limited to gold-digging whores. In fact it was something that affected roughly the same percentage of people that decided to take the genetic serum or buy into the lie of the rona. Men wanted to be my friend and women wanted to bear my children, because I had a book on the shelves of the local book shops and did signing events. Or because they heard me interviewed on the radio or saw me on TV in the UK or, the USA, or in one case, saw my book briefly on CNN apparently (I never saw it myself but several people told me they had in a brief mention).

What becomes absolutely obvious then is that most human beings do not live, love, or care about the person they are with, perhaps marry and even have children with. No. They do not. They care about the idea about them they have in their head of them. Or they later end up hating the idea they have about them in their head. It is absolutely rare that they even glimpse the reality of who or what you are even if you spend decades with them.

In the modern era, this “disease” is a lot worse than it ever was in the past before television, the internet and mobile brainwashing and attention destroying machines we call “phones”.

Seeing this firsthand, noticing a girl you might have thought of as attractive and even intelligent if you had met her under different circumstances, and then noting how she is so transparently offering herself as some kind of sacrificial sex toy, purely in order to have the “thrill” of having had a “famous” person inside her, well… I know I am the minority perhaps in this, but I assure you, it is depressing. It destroys a certain aspect of innocence that makes life easier and more beautiful, and is hard to live happily without.

And that’s just the “fame” part.

And if you did sleep with such a girl, chances are, that after a while (or maybe only after minutes if you’re no good in bed) she would too feel empty, and disappointed, and lacklustre, because her fantasy of who you are and how her life might become is a fairy tale. As much as the one you might have told yourself if you’d met her as a nobody at a party and saw how pretty and quick-witted she appeared. Only to realise later it was just a facade, she is not smart, or quick-witted, she just learnt a routine of things to do and say at parties.

That, right there, the shabby feeling of mild despair that grows on you if you do take the ticket, if you do reach for the “glory”? That is the real “glory”.

The fame makes you a cartoon caricature and the glory turns out to be dust and emptiness. I at least was wise enough to not indulge in either.

The money sure can be useful, but it invariably comes with those two strings attached, and no amount of money on the planet is worth that. Not to me anyway.

It is possible, to get at least some of the money and dodge the “fame” and the “glory” and if you are smart, you can even manage a certain level of “fame” in a way that it doesn’t harm you, but it takes uncommon firmness of mind, courage, and not a little luck, or fate, or divine providence, whatever you choose to call it. In short, it is very rare, and probably has a cost anyway, as all roads do.

All of these despairing things, are made a thousand or a million times worst if you are alone in it all. Even family and close friends can turn, like zombies in a horror movie, becoming infected and turning on you with those soulless, dead eyes. Imagine your own parents or children becoming swallowed by the despair and materialism of “fame” and “glory”, or, much more often, your wife, or husband.

And where, in a world like the one of today, do you find a wife or husband that is not ready to jump neck-deep into the mire of “fame” and “glory” given a half a chance? Especially for those who grew up with the internet as a done thing?

There is no easy answer, but I assure you that whatever difficulties I faced or will face in life, I would always choose them over the ones that come with Hollywood level “fame” and “glory”.

I made my life an exercise in living between the cracks and not getting caught by what Vadim Zeland calls “Pendulums”, and just to be safe, I never tried to “transurf” the waves more than a tiny little bit here or there, (long before I read anything Vadim wrote) because in this game of life, one big wipeout is enough to reduce you to shark-food. And even as it is, I took my wipeouts, and they were hard enough, and perhaps many would not have survived them, but I did; again, by my will, but also a lot of divine providence and grace, which the lost often call luck or fate.

My problem has always been the same one.

My DNA, as far back as I can find information on my ancestors, has the curiosity of the explorer in it, and the fearlessness of the fool. It is a dangerous combination, and I do not advise it to anyone. I certainly hope my son is wiser than I was, but already, I see in him, the brutal honesty he has with himself, the fearlessness in the face of danger, at times due to innocence, and other times due to calculated observation. And the calm, considered, approach to things that might be dangerous, which he has not yet investigated.

How to guide such a boy?

There is no simple or clear path, because these are the qualities of a man, and ultimately, as men know, we are born alone, and we die alone, and every choice we make, every effort, every despair, every victory and every crushing defeat, is ours, and ours alone, no matter who loves us and may help us, or who hates us and may try to destroy us. All we can rely on is providence, God’s grace and our tiny, but eternal flame of faith inside ourselves, regardless of if we know it exists in there or not. He has it, and perhaps all I can do is try to make him aware of it consciously. Maybe, if I can help him be less mute than I have been to myself, he might be able to more readily rely on that fire in the centre of his heart even when he is alone and tired and scared, and I am no longer around to do what I can.

Maybe, if I train him even as I play with him, he can learn to roll with the punches of life and pop up nearby and unexpectedly, and turn things to his advantage then too.

And above all, I hope I can do a good job of showing him the decay and deceit and lies and illusion of “fame” and “glory” and instead choose the real Glory of, and for, God, and Honour, and the ones you Love. And to know fame is a lying whore riddled with disease and fancy clothes, and make-up; and real fame is the trust and loyalty of your friends and your loved ones, and nothing else compares.

And hopefully, in the Fake New World that is being prepared for him, either we are able to collapse the shit out of it before it gets off the ground, or there will in any case remain a way for him to navigate the “pendulums” and “surf” the “waves” remaining as best as possible, untouched by the filth of the sewage from which they are formed.

The lives of the “rich and famous” are a preview of the Hell that awaits us all if we don’t wake up and return to what really matters: The virtues of Truth, Honesty, Honour, Fortitude, Courage, and Faith.

Except it will be worse for you will not even have the villas and the retinue of concubines and the drugs, because you will not even have the money to distract you from the despair.

So.

Choose your path wisely, friend, and support that which is real, and see through that which is fake, and gay, and Satanic.

Eat shit. It’s good for you!

Literally, this is what you’re now being told by big pharma. You know, the guys who teamed up with the WEF for the scamdemic.

They are even trying to tell you that it’s taking antibiotics that causes bacterial infections, not literally eating shit.

C. diff, often contracted by taking antibiotics, is highly a contagious bacterial infection that causes severe diarrhea, abdominal pain, and fever and can result in organ failure and even death. Recurrent infections within two to eight weeks are a problem for about one in six patients, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Risk factors include recent hospital or nursing home stay, a weakened immune system, and previous C. diff infections.

In response to the approval of the new oral microbiota product, Dr. Peter Marks, director of the FDA’s Center for Biologics Evaluation and Research, said in a news release:

“The availability of a fecal microbiota product that can be taken orally is a significant step forward in advancing patient care and accessibility for individuals who have experienced this disease that can be potentially life-threatening.”

New Product, New Risks

Vowst—taken as a dose of four capsules for three consecutive days—is not free of risk. The donated human fecal matter is screened for transmissible pathogens before it is manufactured. However, as the news release pointed out, there is a possibility that donor stool used in the pill could be infected with infectious pathogens, as well as food allergens. The potential for adverse reactions caused by Vowst due to such allergens is unknown.

I mean, sure, there’s a “risk” in eating human shit, and it’s “unknown”, but hey, compared to injecting yourself with a deadly genetic serum it’s a walk in the park!

Oh, and don’t forget to give away all your possession and private property, and be happy!

The Speed of Fear and Anger

Something I learned many years ago, in my early 20s in fact, as a result of the intensity with which I pursued martial arts in a very traditional dojo of karate-do in Cape Town, South Africa, is a lesson of psychology and life that I think I have not seen addressed in any detail anywhere.

Succinctly put, it is this:

Something that makes us instantly angry, usually happens so fast that exploding the emotions like a schematic of some engine, is never considered.

What I mean is that if you take the time to consciously go through the steps from start to finish of how you went from neutral or calm to pissed off, very often, you can’t really do it properly.

There is an infinitesimally small space of time where the anger kicks in, but just before that, there is often something else. It is so compressed and so tiny a space of time that it can take real effort to slow the memory of the emotion down enough to be able to take note of it. This is why I make the analogy of a schematic of an engine. It is a bit like consciously taking apart a complicated engine and being very detailed and clear about where and how each part fits with the whole.

In the moment it happens, this process of analysis is practically impossible to do, unless something significant happens to interrupt the instinctive response. For me, a logical sequence that makes the event reasonable can do it, but this rarely happens in life.

Therefore, analysis after-the-fact is pretty much all you have left, and most people are very, very, very unwilling to revisit such events in detail. Especially with a view to self examine instead of blame the outside world in some way.

The intensity of doing martial arts in an environment where real injury is a given if you don’t keep your wits about you, over time, at least for me, and I would say for people who are either obstinate or willing enough to put themselves into harm’s way repeatedly and regularly, is that eventually, you get somewhat desensitised to fear.

From a young age, it was always a natural instinct that anything that made me afraid I wanted to conquer somehow. And it didn’t much matter what kind or type of fear it was.

Eventually, doing enough martial arts, I got to a point that fear of other human beings being able to do me harm was not really much of a concern.

If you take the time to do the self-reflection, you will find some very interesting things about yourself. I found that in my case, anger was usually the result of a sense of injustice. In general this can be true of most people, since anger is often a reaction to a perceived trespassing of some boundary. But I also noticed that at times it was a reaction to fear. The transition from:

normal—>afraid—>angry

was so quick that it took real effort to notice the fear part. In fact, it presented mostly as:

normal—>angry

But it was the nanosecond of fear that was the key.

If a threat presented, the sense of injustice was the result of a fear of being violated somehow.

A potential mugger, violent threat, or even just an uncaring attack in training in the dojo, done with intent to cause damage from someone that did not understand or apply the principles of honourable violence we operated under, would result in a tiny fraction of a second of fear; of being hurt, or someone I cared about being hurt, and then the anger at the injustice of their action towards me or mine.

Eventually, the fear did not present itself anymore once I had been in these type of situations enough times. A kind of slow motion effect allowed me to process the event in real time even as it happened, and then it became quite clear, even obvious at times, the fear of the other person was instrumental in their own actions, quite often. Which in turn allowed a more measured response from me, that is a calmer reaction, which could mean anything from ignoring a perceived “trespassing” even when it might potentially have been quite serious —even to the point of being amused by it— to a calmer and more precise physical response that worked very well and was far more effective because so much more precise.

But the lesson learnt about the internal mechanisms that fear produces was invaluable. And the key take away for me was that fear is always a lie. In some respect or other, fear is always an illusion. I am in fact known for the statement that fear is always an illusion, a lie, for about three decades.

What I mean by this is not that fear is not at times justified, for it can be, but rather that the process of letting fear determine your reaction is counter-productive. In an ideal situation, if you could always react to any situation with a calm mind, the response will invariably be more effective.

The fear response is designed to activate various autonomous responses as quickly as possible, it is a survival mechanism, and therefore an important part of any living creature’s make-up.

If, however, you manage to gradually desensitise yourself to the fear response in various settings, you can learn to produce a correct response that is not any slower than the fear response, but that has the advantage of being a far more balanced one.

Any effective martial art performed at a high level of realism and intensity for years will create some of this. Correct Systema training will be particularly effective at this, and in my experience is far superior to the other martial arts I have investigated for myself in this respect.

But a conscious understanding of this is also very beneficial, and an experiential knowledge of it is extremely beneficial.

For most normal people leading normal lives, the likelihood of them being able to do this is remote, as this level of self-analysis and experience generally comes only from being repeatedly placed in dangerous or even life-threatening situations. Having experienced many of these from early childhood and then choosing them consciously in teenage years and more so as an adult, one can then begin to develop such conscious thoughts, but even then it is rare, because most people who have such life trajectories are on some level survivors of some intense situations and tend to try to avoid such things later in life. Even if they do not, they can become trapped in a process of trying to “harden” themselves for years. A kind of natural response to potential harm if you can’t get away: fight.

In my experience it is a rare fighter that learns the deeper nature of what triggers him and then adjusts and evolves beyond it. Some do it over a few decades of training but even then, it is usually only partial and remains quite rare.

Only the ones that really push themselves to go as deep as possible within themselves do it. Sometimes life circumstances force them to do so, and sometimes their own internal damage drives them to do so, but it is never a comfortable journey, although, in the best of cases, it is certainly a worthwhile one.

If you do manage to essentially wipe out fear, for the most part, you can still be left with what I would call righteous anger, which is just as fast, but doesn’t have the element of fear as the driving factor. It is its own driver; and maybe can’t even be defined as anger really, at least not in its motive efforts and effects.

An example might be a home invasion by violent attackers. It would be normal to have fear for one’s family in such an event. In fact, most people would remain stuck in that aspect of it. My personal response to it, unless it was an active hostage situation before I could even react, is not, however, fear, nor, in the case I experienced, was it anger. I would say it was best described as hyper-concern.

A guy had broken into the apartment I lived in with my then wife and baby daughter of only a few months. My wife had left a kitchen window open and this guy had snuck in and silently hidden in the hallway behind the baby stroller. When my wife woke up, put the baby on the couch in the lounge and went to do something in the kitchenette she had no idea there was a man hiding in the house. This was her routine at about 5am, when the baby woke and although I would wake when she left the room, the lack of sleep in general would make me fall asleep shortly afterwards. When I heard her scream my name, I was in that deep sleep you fall into in the early morning when you’re exhausted.

I remember opening my eyes while still lying in bed, then the next memory is of me pushing the lounge door open. I have no memory of how I got out of bed, opened the bedroom door, went through it and onto the lounge door, nor what I hit with my knee on the way there, as I realised only once the police had arrived much later, that I had a giant swollen bruise on my knee that had dinged the cartilage. I had felt nothing. I did feel it for the next three weeks or so though.

At the moment of pushing the lounge door open, I distinctly recall my thought, which was crystal clear, fully formed and although it had many parts, was absolutely simple due to it’s clarity. For some reason, I expected there to be three intruders on the other side of the door. The lounge of that small apartment was small and regardless of where my baby daughter or wife would be in it, I knew I would get to my daughter even if one of them had already picked her up and had her. The speed at which I was moving would not let anyone focus on harming the baby, worst case she’d fall if I didn’t catch her after dropping whoever was holding her.

I had the entire layout of the lounge in my head and the thing I was sure of was that whoever was on the other side of that door that didn’t belong there would be neutralised without any holding back or reservation whatsoever, and it would happen as fast as possible. I knew I would only require one hit on anyone that was near my daughter. It wouldn’t matter their size or strength. Something I always had inside me in all the fights and physical confrontations I had, including serious ones, was completely gone: I was absolutely free of any restraint in response.

I even had in my head an instant picture of the lounge and which walls, including the tv screen the ones further from my daughter would be rammed into after I took out the one closest to her.

As divine providence would have it, the guy had already jumped over the couch and ran out the side door before I’d entered the lounge. I never saw him and my sense that there was three of them, prevented me from giving chase in case there was someone else still in the house and I’d be leaving my baby and wife with them.

If that man had been a second or two slower at exiting, or if he’d stopped to threaten my wife, I very much doubt he’d be alive. I am sure my first punch would have knocked him out as well as break my hand badly, but I would not have felt it, and the idea I had of there being three men, means I would not have hesitated to stomp him once he was down, to ensure I could be over my baby daughter without distraction from anyone else.

There was no fear, and no anger. It was simply a state of hyper-concern. I would have felt no more emotion ramming a hypothetical home invader’s head into the concrete wall than I would have felt in putting my shoes on to go to work.

I also know from other experiences that in that state my physical movements become essentially perfect. It is a state I have entered a few times in my life, always in extreme circumstances, and which I have found best described in the book of the void, the fifth and last book of the book of five rings, Go Rin No Sho, by Myamoto Mushashi. The translation by Victor Harris being the best one. It is barely one page long.

Well, I don’t wish it upon you, to enter that state of the void, because if and when you do, in my experience, and that of those I know who have experienced it, it is almost a given you will be in a life and death situation. But… if you should experience it, I think you will know that fear is illusion; and that even death is not really… real. Not as such.

And that time too is somewhat of an illusion. And fear only exists if it can hide behind the speed of emotions, for a calm mind will be able to make fear fade, like shadows in sunlight.

I hope some of this information might be useful in some way.

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